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Open Poetry #9
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-09-17 05:52 PM


You love the way she tosses her licorice hair
without realizing the image she makes.
You love the way her cinnamon voice
cracks in all the right places
(like frozen butter, you thaw).

Her peppermint laugh doesn't evoke the sea,
but still you can taste the salt.
Rankled chocolate in foil wrapper;
you fell to crumbs of your sweet
(like sugarsnowdust).

The sky is pine-apple lime, pine-apple-lime, pineapple-lime.
A thousand oaks of candy sticks.
A thousand matchsticks of fudge bricks.
A thousand and one tries -- attempt again
(heal your heart and your cutting teeth).

Grip a tree like a phantom of love and climb.
Oily syrup, Hershey's sap. To the top.
To the tip.

She wore butterblossoms in her hair.
Her kiss was erotic pollen.
She wore bubbles in her hair
(like a nursery champion).

She loved your creamsicle jaw.
She loved your popsicle paws.
She loved your lollipop pieces
(she was sweet and gone).

Wild bubblecluster flurry;
Rainbow skim and slide.
She wore bluebottles in her hair,
except they were butterflies.

sweet
        sweat
                sugar
                         dust.

(Skeins of mountains
and skies of California)
It's snowing rain.

I love you, name.



[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 09-17-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2000-09-17 07:03 PM


please don't ever stop being so creative with words, lines, phrasing, and structure... your poetry is unique... and you will go far....

this one is a delicacy.  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-09-17 07:06 PM


You love the way she tosses her licorice hair
without realizing the image she makes.
You love the way her cinnamon voice
cracks in all the right places
(like frozen butter, you thaw).
Her peppermint laugh doesn't evoke the sea,
but still you can taste the salt.
Rankled chocolate in foil wrapper;
you fell to crumbs of your sweet
(like sugarsnowdust).

The sky is pine-apple lime, pine-apple-lime, pinapple-lime.
A thousand oaks of candy sticks.
A thousand matchsticks of fudge bricks.
A thousand and one tries -- attempt again
(heal your heart and your cutting teeth).
===================
OH BABY!!!!
me thinks me needs a dentist and insulin after this sweet treat of a poem...
my oh my ...
wanna say it with me???...
(ohhowilovewhenyouwritelikethis)
(loveyouinlovetoo)
*winkiewinkie*
me

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2000-09-17 08:01 PM


doreen,
Thanks for the praise and the smile that brings.

Janet Marie,
I *knew* you'd say that!   I don't mind.

Mike

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-09-17 08:49 PM


Mike~
This is just the most creatively awesome piece.
What images slide across the screen.
The very idea of a pineapple-lime sky is decadent !
WOW ! I love it.
I'm in awe of your writing of late ...
just superb !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2000-09-18 02:18 AM


I keep thinking that I've read your best...but Mike, this is positively stunning, in its imagery, and the direct adoration it conveys...I am impressed.  And I get impressed just seeing your name on the page...smiles...hugs to you, poet-man...
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