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Open Poetry #9
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2000-09-17 01:02 AM


You said you wanted happiness,
A thought that sounded great.
You said you needed peace of mind
I offered you a plate.
You said you wanted me around.
I showed you how to make it.
I gave the opportunity
How come you didn't take it?

You know the things I need to have.
My life's an open door
And, in return I'd give and give,
And then I'd give some more.

But, either I am very dumb
Or you're not very smart.
While I spent my time giving,
You were taking me apart.

You never tried to understand
What I was all about
And now, instead of giving,
I have simply given out.

Frustration makes my muscles ache
But life is for the living.
How sad you finally came to take
When I was out of giving.

< !signature-->

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 09-17-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-09-17 01:18 AM


Geez, I just got caught crying at the computer again...thanks alot, B'd...this --almost immediately after laughing til I cried with Marge...

you wrote too well of a sad, sad, situation.
Although it will look cute on my refrigerator...smiles and thanks, and you think they'll believe it's hormones?
(I'm not crazy--I'M NOT--I was just reading POETRY...)----SURE LADY, SURE.  HUGS.

snowpants
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since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
2 posted 2000-09-17 01:22 AM


Wow!  That's great!  A few years ago, I wrote a poem about the same thing, but, it wasn't quite as good as yours!  
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2000-09-17 01:43 AM


Balladeer~
There are givers and takers in this big ole world ...
*Hugs* iffen ya' need 'em ...
and bigger *HUGS* iffen ya' don't !
Now what kind of a win-win situation is that ?

I like hypothetical situations !
They're so much easier to solve.

Love ya'
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-09-17 01:45 AM


some women are just blind  
they dont know when they have the best
some women like to play games
and put love to the test

Its not you who is "dumb"
its her that is the fool
one day she will realize ...
she blew her chance...cause you just RULE
(and you write so dang COOL)

this is just so YOU ...
and thats a VERY GOOD thing
touching deep with this one sweet deer
jm

grandiloquent
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since 1999-07-08
Posts 104
Midwest America
5 posted 2000-09-17 03:13 AM


Oh, how I can relate. I hope this is a glance-to-the-past poem instead of a present situation. In the latter case, on the bright side, it seems you have a truckload of supporting friends who recognize you for what you are (not to mention will suffocate you with hugs in these types of situations). Forget the people who use, abuse, and/or suck the life and love out of you; everyone is worth more than that.


p.s. excellently titled.

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
6 posted 2000-09-17 03:27 AM


Oh Bal
I see a sad face but a huge heart
I somehow think that you will find the strength to get through this.
sending warm wishes and a BIG HUG your way
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Beth
Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468
WA, Australia
7 posted 2000-09-17 04:01 AM


~This is very sad...But it looks like you gained insight..And that's a great thing....Thanks for sharing!!~

~Cherie~

cathybohannan
Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 140
Paintsville,KY
8 posted 2000-09-17 04:24 AM


You have a great gift of how to put just the
right words down to express how you feel.

Cathy

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
9 posted 2000-09-17 06:20 AM


Bal: Will you please quit reading my mind all the time  

HUSG

"If you always do what you've always done
You'll always be where you are right now."

Author Unknown

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2000-09-17 08:07 AM


Balladeer,
I think your real name is Quick Draw McGraw.
I was working on a poem along the same lines
I'll post it as soon as I finish. As always An excellent rendition of the subject matter.
ENJOYED.

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
11 posted 2000-09-17 09:08 AM


quote:
You never tried to understand
What I was all about
And now, instead of giving,
I have simply given out.


boy, do i know this feeling all too well!!! ...reminds me of my first marriage... oh, and my second marriage... LOL... aw hell, i give up!   hehe... *wink* thanks for posting this. as always, your poetry is wonderful!  

ddgoose
Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 250
Baltimore, MD, USA
12 posted 2000-09-17 09:33 AM


Balladeer

You certainly have quite a few of us who can relate to your situation.  Remember - there is someone special out there who will love you for what you are.  Join the club of "lookers annonymous".  I like the comment of "Quick Draw McGraw" too.  Just in case you need a big hug, I am sending one your way.  

                    didi

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

13 posted 2000-09-17 09:58 AM


This poem is right up my alley (are you sure you're in the right forum?)  
I'm a giver by nature, the words flowed and were so insightful. People can sometimes suck the life right out of you, once they learn you are that type of person, they come back for more. I had a friend once, a nice girl who pretty much used me for her "feeling good drive up window" a fast food restaurant type of friendship, where she drove off and I was left holding the change.
I loved this one, it really spoke to me, but then all of yours do, that's why your filling up my library!!!


Kathleen


passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
14 posted 2000-09-17 10:12 AM


Balladeer,

this is one of the more serious poems you've written and I really like it. You are so good at humorous writing. I knew there had to be a serious side of you. Thank you for sharing it, though the poem hit hard as to my relationship now, me being the one it's directed towards. I don't need much giving. Too much is annoying. I've been on my own for five years...and it's hard to get used to someone there, giving all the time.

But then the way you wrote this poem makes me appreciate his giving a little more than I have, knowing it might not be there when I need it.

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
15 posted 2000-09-17 10:19 AM


Geez this one brought tears to my eyes. It touches a little too deep!
For things that bring back memories, and I guess not all resolved.

Damn Deer you have a way with your words!

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2000-09-17 10:45 AM


Balladeer--Yup, I been there too...you see life situations with such empathy and write with such great talent...I hope this is a little piece of fiction for you or something from the past, whatever...you get a hug anyway...just cause you're so deer.
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
17 posted 2000-09-17 11:24 AM


Oh how this stung...its always so hard when only one person is willing to give...even tho I believe love is not a fifty fifty split. Love is giving %100 by both and when its only one giving you do give out...HUGS to you sir
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
18 posted 2000-09-17 01:24 PM


Deer one, somethings just ain't meant to be, no matter what we do.

Corinne

Kethry
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since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
19 posted 2000-09-17 04:25 PM


Deer, as always passionate and brilliant. But this one touched a chord in my heart. *HUGS* to you.
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Balladeer
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20 posted 2000-09-17 06:02 PM


I thank you all for such wonderful and sincere comments. Belonging to Passions is wonderful for the poetry but equall as special for the comments and the way everyone literally bares their souls and opens their hearts in their replies. You are all wonderful people.

No, this is not a true life experience. I'm just a poet, that's all, in touch with feelings in life and trying to portray them in a worthwhile fashion. Thank you all for allowing me to.....

juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125
North Carolina
21 posted 2000-09-17 07:26 PM


Oh this broke my heart, but now after reading your response I'm thanking God no one did this too you....Whewww ya had me worried there for a minute....lol...Loved it.
Juls

Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

22 posted 2000-09-17 08:43 PM


Excellent, Balladeer. I'm glad it's fiction for you, though!  

Denise

Wilfred Yeats
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since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
23 posted 2000-09-17 08:51 PM


I'll simply say - bravo - well done  
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
24 posted 2000-09-17 08:52 PM


Glad to know that this is not a real life experience for you.  I don't know how you write without experiencing it but as you said YOU are a poet.  I guess I have some more growing to do because if I dont feel it from true life then I can't write about it.  I guess maybe I am what you might call a begining poet or wanna be.LOL.....I do my best though.  Wonderful write sir....enjoy your talent in all facets you write in.
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

25 posted 2000-09-17 10:04 PM


And that, Mr. Mack, bespeaks true artistry, when all can relate, and all buy every word...you've done it...I'm still watchin' and takin' notes...smiles and hugs anyway...even if you are not in need!
X Angel
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since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
26 posted 2000-09-18 12:47 PM


you been reading my diary again Michael?
Temptress
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since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
27 posted 2000-09-18 02:25 AM


Beautiful, enthralling, and truly emotionaly poetry as usual. Please keep up the wonderful work so that I may keep up my addiction to your words.   Dream well! Good night!  
Nan
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since 1999-05-20
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
28 posted 2000-09-18 07:35 AM


Are you trying to say that the "Give and Give" theory doesn't always work??? So maybe we should call it "Give and Given".. or "Give and Gave"...

This is a nice piece of work, Deer... and unfortunately too often true...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
29 posted 2000-09-18 09:06 AM


Balladeer...you are indeed a master. This poem takes the reader on a journey of love and loss...thanks for the ride.
Elizabeth Santos
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since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
30 posted 2000-09-18 11:10 AM


This poem unfortunately strikes a chord with me, and thus that poem I wrote "I've Given All I Had to Give". WE must think alike in some ways. I was captivate by your telling my life, and you always write it so well.
Liz

LngJhnAg
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since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
31 posted 2000-09-18 11:25 AM


'Deer

Its true you give until it hurts,
I've been on the receiving end.
Your ripostes and clever words,
Hurt me through and through, my friend.

Henceforth, you won't give any more,
From now on I'm going to fight.
I'm gonna crawl across the floor,
And give your leg a bite!


grrrrrufffffffff, grrruffffff

heh heh - great poem, 'Deer.

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
32 posted 2000-09-18 07:39 PM


Aaahhh Balladeer, a wonderful treat for these tired eyes this evening. You've portrayed these emotions beautifully. There's nothing like the tiredness that follows years of giving and so little receiving. Really well done Michael!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
33 posted 2000-09-18 07:59 PM


Balladeer, The giving and the taking and the timing of this one really hit home, a truely heartfelt read.
nona
Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 139
Fla
34 posted 2000-09-20 02:31 PM


Wow Balladeer you inspired me...as usual..
Attempted to write about something I have never felt but thought I understood..
See my poem titled  Illusions........nona

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

35 posted 2000-09-20 02:34 PM


wow, seems I need to write a bit of this on my heart...great writing bal....sighs and smiles
Oklahoma Rose
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since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA
36 posted 2009-08-16 02:12 PM


Balladeer, this poem really hits home with me. I am a "Giver". So, I know how it feels to give, but never recieve. And sometimes, it hurts. It seems to me, that there are alot of takers, but very few givers.

Here, my friend, I have a great Big Hug for you. And, if you need more, I have plenty more where that one came from.

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
37 posted 2009-08-16 02:44 PM


And you give us so much.  Thank you.  Because of you, I am actually researching submitting poems for publication.  Because of you, I find myself becoming more confident and reaching out more.  Not just for better form, but for deeper content.

You have changed my poetic life.  You have given me a year now and have worked with me and encouraged me.  I couldn't get that from anywhere or anyone.

You have given me so much and I will always be thankful - and, yes, I know ... I am behind one assignment.  I am working on that Rondel (grins) - am checking the meter again today.

Thank you, Balladeer man.



Alison

Balladeer
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38 posted 2009-08-16 08:17 PM


Rose, I have no doubt you are a giver. It shows in everything you do.

Alison, you bring tears to an old man's eyes. If the workshop does nothing else than to provide what has made a difference for you, it will have been a wonderful success. I look forward to reading your first book!

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
39 posted 2009-08-16 09:23 PM


How about a poem in a publication?  I am thinking I have far more to learn before trying to jump into a book.  So, you ain't off the teaching hook, you know.

Love you,
A

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
40 posted 2013-03-10 01:33 AM


So good.  Kind of makes me sit back and just think about how much I take.

Alison

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