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Passions in Poetry

Waking, Bittersweet

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serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 09-10-2000 09:35 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for serenity blaze

Sunday morning...
I'd slept in peace.
Raindrops sang me
off to sleep--
Each drop a dream,
a click of key,
gracious gift
of trickery--
I dreamt of you nearby.

A yawn at dawn--
I woke in smile,
glare of sun
in stark defile.
tepid tears
my chagrin--
I slept to have you near again.


© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


1 posted 09-10-2000 09:47 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Serenity - terrific slant on having and not having.  Very nicely written, too.
Ann
Member
since 07-07-2000
Posts 74
Australia


2 posted 09-10-2000 09:52 AM       View Profile for Ann   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ann

This was a lovely poem...i can relate with that feeling of stark disappointment when one wakes in the morning and realises they aren't with that 'special someone' after all.

God bless and take care!





Artistic
Member
since 08-09-2000
Posts 108
Colorado/Rochester, NY


3 posted 09-10-2000 10:25 AM       View Profile for Artistic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artistic

Wow, I like the way you wrote the poem... of how you think he's there, and yet, he is there, much to your disappointment.  (Am I getting this right?)

Nice!  

~Artistic~


"Dreams are the touchstones of our characters"
-Henry David Thoreau


Artistic
Member
since 08-09-2000
Posts 108
Colorado/Rochester, NY


4 posted 09-10-2000 10:25 AM       View Profile for Artistic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artistic

Wow, I like the way you wrote the poem... of how you think he's there, and yet, he is there, much to your disappointment.  (Am I getting this right?)

Nice!  

~Artistic~


"Dreams are the touchstones of our characters"
-Henry David Thoreau


Artistic
Member
since 08-09-2000
Posts 108
Colorado/Rochester, NY


5 posted 09-10-2000 10:25 AM       View Profile for Artistic   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artistic

Wow, I like the way you wrote the poem... of how you think he's there, and yet, he is there, much to your disappointment.  (Am I getting this right?)

Nice!  

~Artistic~


"Dreams are the touchstones of our characters"
-Henry David Thoreau


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


6 posted 09-10-2000 01:09 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

LittleSerenity~
At least you slept in peaceful dream.
Love ya ... lots of *HUGS*

Beautifully done, my girl.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


7 posted 09-10-2000 01:16 PM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

"Raindrops sang me
off to sleep--"

Lovely line, serenity. This poem lives far beyond the "page" my friend.

~ Claire


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Auguste
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Member Ascendant
since 02-16-2000
Posts 5326
By the sea


8 posted 09-10-2000 01:31 PM       View Profile for Auguste   Email Auguste   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Auguste's Home Page   View IP for Auguste

serenity,

This is simply wonderful...you've done so well with this...lovely it is.

Michael


Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


9 posted 09-10-2000 08:12 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

LJ---terrific compliment coming from one who just had his wooden leg shredded by angry kitties...ah ha ha...smiles to ye, m'pirate pal...

Ann---I'll take the dream tho, grin---I dream VERY vividly.  Thank you.

Artistic---that was so close, I should send you a cigar---three, even...LOL and thanx.

Marge---I am feeling a spirit of determination lately...can't imagine where that is coming from...*wink*  HUGS

claire--I thank you kindly, your replies mean much to me, as they are sincere and gentle as your work.

Michael--oh, thank you.  I am a faithful reader of your inspirational work, and I am so glad that I could give you a bit of enjoyment back...I thank you.

My sincere gratitude to all.
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


10 posted 09-10-2000 10:29 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

serenity,

This is haunting in its sheer reality.  You have captured those feeling perfectly my friend.  It is always a letdown to awake and find that special someone is not really there after all.  Wonderful writing.

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats
Zyell
Member
since 07-28-2000
Posts 121
USA


11 posted 09-10-2000 10:34 PM       View Profile for Zyell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Zyell

serenity.....i like the way
you arranged the words,
they spin....perfectly,

enjoyed, I did indeed!

*S*
Z


"I am an abstract of Circles"
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 06-21-2000
Posts 7338
In the winds of Cherokee song


12 posted 09-10-2000 10:43 PM       View Profile for Mark Bohannan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark Bohannan

What a wonderful verse full of wanting heart you have penned.  Just lovely from beginning to end.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


13 posted 09-11-2000 09:16 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Wonderful to the power of wonderful

regards O Serene One,
sudhir
Sven
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Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


14 posted 09-11-2000 12:29 PM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

they are there. . . and yet, they are not. . . but they are there. . .

from dreaming of them, to dreaming with them. . .

wonderful my friend. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


15 posted 03-11-2013 01:58 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

Aww, and I believe that you have said that you can not write poetry in rhyme, serentiy darlin'.  You did.  I love it.

A
 
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