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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2000-09-09 05:59 PM


In me
There is no sun
Just memories of him
And the time we were together
In love

In love
I touched the sky
Basking in the sunshine
Seen through his eyes, touched by his lips
So cold

So cold
My heart is now
Praying for the summer
Looking for warmth, I know can be
In me



"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

© Copyright 2000 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2000-09-09 06:06 PM



Kethry......
           You just taught me a new style....this is great......thank you!!!
Love your writing, my friend.......


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2000-09-09 06:37 PM


the structure and simplicity of this are both lovely.... i enjoyed the way you took the last line of the stanza and started the next stanza with the same line, and the form of the words, almost cascading down and fading out... thanks for the read, kethry. good work!  

~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-09-09 06:48 PM


Very good, Kethry! Well done!

Denise

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2000-09-09 07:31 PM


So lovely when a happy heart touches the sky
So sad when a lonely heart stops to cry.
Sorry about that..just feeling my feelings.
I enjoyed reading your lovely poem...James

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-09-09 07:36 PM


Kethry~
This is really a pretty form
and you worked it well.

I did enjoy the hope shared -
'Looking for warmth, I know can be
In me'


Very nice.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
6 posted 2000-09-09 11:03 PM


Perfect - AND  beauthful !!!


~Immature love says:
I love you because I need you.
Mature love says:
I need you because I love you.

                ~ Erich Fromm ~


wilfredyeats@hotmail.com               

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

7 posted 2000-09-09 11:12 PM


Very nice.  I enjoyed muchly.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2000-09-10 12:26 PM


Thank you Sunny1. I can't claim credit for this style, because MMoonchild did it so well before me, I simply read up about it and copied her style.

Doreen, Thank you. I could be wrong but that is what a cinquain round is supposed to do.
2 syllables
4 syllables
6 syllables
8 syllables
2 syllables.
start again

Dysynder, Thank you for your kind words.

Jmlee, I just love it when your emotions lead to such beauty.

Marge, Thank you. You honour me with your comments. For your form is perfect.

Wilfred. Thank you for the capitalised and I appreciate it.

Mike thank you so much, for stopping by.


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
9 posted 2000-09-10 01:17 AM


oh Keth, this is lovely!
always outdoing yourself!
~Dawn

"Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
10 posted 2000-09-10 01:53 AM


Thank you Dawn, you are always the charmer.

Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2000-09-11 06:51 AM


Kethry

O dear friend... This is wonderfully done...

Much enjoyed this form... and content

regards,
sudhir

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
12 posted 2000-09-11 07:55 AM


Kethry,
I loved this!
Thank you for introducing this form.
Your poem is as lovely as they come!
Liz

Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
13 posted 2000-09-11 08:16 AM


Kethry,
Great form, wonderful example!
Thank-you!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
14 posted 2000-09-11 12:34 PM


Kethry - Thank you for describing this form of poetry.  I think I'll give it a try.
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
15 posted 2000-09-11 12:48 PM


Keth,

WOW...I love this...so simple yet with such amazing images and thoughts...beautiful

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
16 posted 2000-09-11 02:17 PM


A wonderful write, I loved the feeling and the images it presents....*S*

Your aroma still lingers
when I stand there,
still on soft ground,
still lingers as the ocean mist
spreads you over me
I find peace ~LC~ 99

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
17 posted 2000-09-11 02:32 PM


Such execution of style flow and masterful use of words.  Excellent job on this one.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
18 posted 2000-09-11 03:54 PM


Sudhir, you honour me with your thanks, you make me proud by calling me friend. Thank you

Elizabeth - Thanks for stopping by, compared to your work mine is a small tribute to poetry.

Debbie, thank you so much.

Long John Ag, thank you for your sensitive reply. Truce, while you write a round to knock my socks off with its beauty. ok  

Paula- as always thank you.

Greeneyes. Thank you for the comments and thank you for the smile. I collect them you know.

Mark. Thank you for such a stylish response.

Be well
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

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