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Open Poetry #9
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Copper Chill
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Copper Chill |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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Wings glistening with copper chill brush night upon my cheeks, guiding streams of clouded moonlight through metal pinions and into shivering soul. Why must I fear like this? Ebony stretch of forever moves mutely through my thoughts as faith falls dark... For one cannot mold light when the shimmer of hope is breathless. How can I reach you here? Memories crystallized in tear washed tombs of mind hold me entranced while upon wind-whispers future flies from reach. And quietly I fade... Rope painted sable-dark entwines around my spirit... Broken, forlorn, incomplete I am without you. Forever I will be...without you. *Krista Knutson* "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious |
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| © Copyright 2000 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
ohhhh this was hauntingly beautiful ~H |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i thought it was haunting as well. transylvania 6500 style |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
This was a hard hitting poem. Dark imagery and painful sights. I especially loved the image of "metal pinions." Excellent poem, of darkness, sweetheart, I just wish you didn't have that inspiriation. That last line was like a blow, but I don't believe in it, there will be a reconciliation. Abrahm Simons "Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Wow! This is excellent writing, I could feel the chill. "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Wow! This is excellent writing, I could feel the chill. "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Krista, very haunting indeed, loved the imagery  Well Done! |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
lovely poem... great work...as always If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise? Avanti Rao |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Blow me away Krista! The whole format of this piece reaches out...let's bookmark this for Voices II... Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Great writing An exciting read Bound to be published Liz |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow... Krista, this is such a chilling piece! (But another great one from you!) But I have to agree with Abe in saying that I don't agree with the last line. Few things last forever, my friend. Keep up the great work!< !signature--> If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a diffrent drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away"-Thoreau [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 09-09-2000).] |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
I thank you all so much for your kind comments. And Lovebug and Abrahm, I do know that most things don't last forever...but when you're in the darkness, it can sure feel like it sometimes..*Krista Knutson* "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious |
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evidenceslave New Member
since 2000-09-01
Posts 4forest lake, mn, usa |
okay just to mess with your head a little bit i'm going to say this. that it seems you made everything entirely dramatic(which is good to a point). it's an excellent poem however, it seems like you're on a constant quest to find the biggest and most dramatic words out there. i'm wondering if writing it in a simpler style would make the point even more dramatic? it's just a thought but, it is a very well written poem and i luved it. hehe. you go emotional twin!hehe. "the reasonable person adapts themselves to the world. the unreasonable person tries to adapt the world to themselves. therefore all progress is made |
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