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Open Poetry #9
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Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2000-09-07 10:38 PM


Well, here I am
Is this what you
     would have wanted for me?
Did you work all those nights
     for me to get here?
Or did you want something more?
I always knew that you wanted
     more for me because I was
          the first one
     progeny of your genes. . .

Then you left
Is that the way
     that you wanted it to be?
Did you fight in that war
     just to have it win?
Or did you want something more?
I never found out what you wanted
     for me because you left me
          the first one
     just getting started. . .

Did I do it right?
Is this the way
     that it's supposed to be?
Did you make the same mistakes
     that I've made here?
Or did you do it differently?
I'll never know because you never
     told me when you left me
          the first one
     your first son. . . Dad

------------------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


© Copyright 2000 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2000-09-07 11:21 PM


Sven,

I know that this was not an easy one for you to write or share with us.  We all have those questions that just never seem to be answered.  Guess you just have to do what you feel is right in your heart and go from there.  It will all work out as it should.  This is a wonderful look at what it feels like to lose someone you love  . . . the pain and confusion that comes with it . . . and the questions.  I hope you find the answers that you seek.  I am sure that he would be very proud of you . . . you know he would.

Excellent writing . . .    

Lone Wolf
< !signature-->

Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

[This message has been edited by Lone Wolf (edited 09-07-2000).]

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2000-09-07 11:33 PM



  Sven....
          I don't think you need to worry about whether you did it right, my friend. I can tell by your writing the man you are, and I can also feel that you Dad would be very proud of his first born son.


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
3 posted 2000-09-08 10:56 AM


This style of poetry is a very different side of you, you haven't shown us before.  I like it very much.  It is nice to sometimes write on different subjects expecially ones that are so dear to our hearts.  

An excellent write my friend!  I would love to see you write more like this.  

Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley



tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
4 posted 2000-09-08 10:44 PM


Sven this is so different from your usual but sharing our thoughts is a way of venting our emotions and for others to help when we are emotional at times.
All I can say to you is that I think you are an amazing person and a caring gentle man.
Take care sweet poet man
Love always Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2000-09-08 10:46 PM


Sven, from what is learned, so shall YOU be...

and we all thank you...

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
6 posted 2000-09-08 11:19 PM


The questions you ask here are familiar to me, well written, as always!

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
7 posted 2000-09-09 02:54 AM


..Sven, it is better to have loved and lost, than not have loved at all..

very heartfelt and I am sure he is smiling down upon this poem of sensitivity, wishing he were granted the time to say the words you needed to hear.

Just lovely.   Love, Marcy

Beth
Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468
WA, Australia
8 posted 2000-09-09 03:19 AM


~Although I have only just become to know you I still say, how could anyone not be proud of you?? You are an amazing man with talent that shines brightly shared with us daily....Take care!~

~Cherie~

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2000-09-09 07:46 PM


LW, I know. . . just felt like getting them all out. . . thank you. . .

Sunny1, thank you. . . I hope so. . .

Marina, thanks. . . you just might see more like this in days to come. . .

tracie, thank you my friend. . .  

Sunshine, I have learned much. . . thank you. . .

Eagle One, so glad to hear that I'm not the only one. . . thank you!

Marcy, thank you. . . I hope so. . .sometimes, I feel that he does. . .  

Beth, thank you so much. . . your words mean a lot. . .

------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


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