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Passions in Poetry

Don't Ever Marry an Aussie.......translator required

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Balladeer
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0 posted 09-07-2000 09:46 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

My grandma was a wise old gal with common sense to spare.
Her words were pearls of wisdom she was always glad to share.
There was a thing she always said a thousand times or two
"Don't ever wed an Aussie if you know what's good for you."

Well, many years have long since passed since grandma up and died.
Upset by failed romance, I took a mail-order bride.
As I touched down in Sydney, grandma's words came into view
"Don't ever wed an Aussie if you know what's good for you."

Gee. How bad could it be, I thought, to get hitched to an Aussie?
Did grandma mean those Queenlanders might be a little bossy?
No worries, mate. She was a beauty and I was quite sure
Regardless of what grandma meant, our love would endure.

Those Aussie gals are beauties, boys. To that I can attest.
One look at that sweet loving face brought passion to my breast.
Her memory seemed to falter, though, which seemed a little queer...
She called me Alf and Wally though my name is Balladeer!!!

She said we'd have some breakky soon - now what the hell were those?
And asked if I liked snag and bum nuts...."Uh, ok.....I suppose."
I told her I liked apricots and I thought she would choke!
She said she didn't realize I was that kind of bloke!!!

She cracked the tinnies right and left. It got to be quite funny
All those times that she had to leave me, running for the dunny.
She asked if I wanted to have a Barney on the spot...
A little purple dinosaur? Uh, gee, I'd rather not.

Nighttime finally came. She smiled and said she'd come back quick
And I would really like it when I saw her in the nick.
I said ok but I considered it to be out of the norm
For her to go get dressed up in some Christmas uniform!

Well, she came back and she looked great and - let me tell you, cousin,
My heart was beating faster, going nineteen to the dozen.
She said we would be making love the way Australians do
(Requiring both participants to be part kangaroo!)

Hey, grandma, you were right, old girl. Your words ring loud and true
"Don't ever wed an Aussie if you know what's good for you."
Next time before I pick a bride, I need to find a real land
Where women never spit the dummy - how about New Zealand????



[This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 09-23-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
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since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


1 posted 09-07-2000 09:55 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

ROFL!!  Severn run for the hills!

DA translate please!  LOL this was good 'deer.'
Denise
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2 posted 09-07-2000 10:17 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

ROFL   My sides will be splitting more too after I understand all of this! Translation please!

Denise
Wilfred Yeats
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since 08-04-2000
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Wilmington, Delaware


3 posted 09-07-2000 10:22 PM       View Profile for Wilfred Yeats   Email Wilfred Yeats   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Wilfred Yeats's Home Page   View IP for Wilfred Yeats

ROTFLMAOPRDML

I know a host of Aussie lingo - but you left me baffled with many of these - translate please!
Balladeer
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4 posted 09-07-2000 10:37 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, I was hoping I could get an Australian verification of the terms first but this is what I have......

Wally and Alf are names you call not to bright or dumb people as a form of insult.

breakky = breakfast
snag = sausage
bum nuts = eggs
apricots = testicles
cracking tinnies = opening beers
Going to the dunny = to the toilet
Have a Barney = argue
in the nick = nude
Nineteen to the dozen = going very fast
Spit the dummy = lose temper

Forgive me, Aussie buddies, if I got any of them wrong  

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (11-20-2007 03:10 PM).]

Severn
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since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


5 posted 09-07-2000 10:43 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Errr...

well....

um......

Hmm.

Does anyone have ummm...a free plane ticket? I need to go to AUSTRALIA RIGHT NOW....

(I keep telling 'deer I am expecting him to come over in his big jet....yeah...didn't want to break the poor guy's heart.)

Looks like the time has come...HELP! HELP!

Get me out of here....

HELP!!!!!!!!

(Sounds of scuffling as K hastily packs her bags...clothes are flying everywhere...

then: silence...)



"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn...
it was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From Jack Maggs
Butterflies_dont_cry
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since 03-06-2000
Posts 3768
Michigan


6 posted 09-07-2000 11:19 PM       View Profile for Butterflies_dont_cry   Email Butterflies_dont_cry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Butterflies_dont_cry

ROFL.....oh this was great!!!!!!  
Balladeer
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7 posted 09-07-2000 11:21 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer


HANG ON, SEVERN!!!

I'M COMING!!!

Severn
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8 posted 09-07-2000 11:36 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

A distant nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

EagleOne
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since 03-07-2000
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Between a laugh and a tear...


9 posted 09-07-2000 11:57 PM       View Profile for EagleOne   Email EagleOne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for EagleOne

Balladeer.......Boy are you in strife now!!!! The terms are right, but as for forgiveness, well it is obvious that you are not planning a visit down under for a while.

I did love this though, well done!  

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.
LngJhnAg
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Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


10 posted 09-08-2000 07:07 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

'Deer - A great read - still laughing here.  You sure let that lil scamp Kethry have it with both barrels.  I'll bet this poem really put her in her place.  She's probably completely humbled now heh heh - stir that pot, Long John... this surely will mean war between the Aussies and the Q-Tips.
Mark Bohannan
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since 06-21-2000
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In the winds of Cherokee song


11 posted 09-08-2000 07:14 AM       View Profile for Mark Bohannan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark Bohannan

ROFLMAO at you and your not so quiet batheing of Kethry.  She will love it I am sure but I do believe there is going to be a new war on the front.  Very eloquently done sir.
Nan
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12 posted 09-08-2000 07:19 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

Is there no order in this place?? Deer, aren't you sposed to be setting the example around here??  Come to think of it,  you are, aren't you???..  
Marge Tindal
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13 posted 09-08-2000 07:21 AM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Balladeer~

I LOVE it !
Delightful play with our sweet, sweet Aussie friends.

You'd better fuel up the plane !
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Kethry
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since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


14 posted 09-08-2000 07:42 AM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

Deer, at least she didn't ask you to lie doggo.

Loved it, loved it, loved it, did I mention

I Loved it.




Btw it's actually ninteen to the dozen. But you can be one brew short of a party any day.
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-
angelswing
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15 posted 09-08-2000 09:13 AM       View Profile for angelswing   Email angelswing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angelswing

Oh dear Yankee and Aussie on one page - I'm out of hear old chaps, I'm going to hit the road and If I get nicked - someone pay the bail . please, and I'm going to have bangers for tea, befor getting starkers with the mis's
Haha realy confused ya now .
English translator  

Old chaps - friends/mates .
Hit the road - leave .
Get nicked - put in jail/caught doing a crime .( preferably not naked ) .
Bangers - sausages/weeners/snag .
Tea - dinner/evening meal/late lunch/the equivelent to an evening BBQ, except without the sause .
Starkers - nude/naked/without clothes on .
Mis's -or- Her in doors- The wife .

Great discussion and poem, best for a while .
L.of.L. Tom .


Don't try, do or do not, there is no try .
- Master Yoda -
poutprincess
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since 07-06-2000
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Perth, Western Australia, Aust


16 posted 09-08-2000 09:14 AM       View Profile for poutprincess   Email poutprincess   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poutprincess

hahahah....this is fantastic!
...i was told to watch out for these Aussies too and i got sucked right in!!

"Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos


X Angel
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since 11-07-1999
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17 posted 09-08-2000 11:20 AM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

omg....I loved this, and the inspiration for a poem was born here too, ty

~H
suthern
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on the threshold of a dream


18 posted 09-08-2000 02:46 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

The language of laughter transcends! *G* (Now I can blame you for wanting a Fosters! LOL)

Victoria
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19 posted 09-08-2000 03:48 PM       View Profile for Victoria   Email Victoria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Victoria

loved it ha ha..
Cuddlez
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since 11-27-1999
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20 posted 09-08-2000 04:08 PM       View Profile for Cuddlez   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cuddlez

Very cute and I was really wondering until I saw the translations. Loved it )


Time flies? Say it not so, time stays we go.
Dark Angel
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since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


21 posted 09-08-2000 05:07 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

ROFL, Hey Balladeer, you cracked me up with this one, Great humour matey!  
RSEvans
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since 10-23-1999
Posts 1187
Tulsa, OK, USA


22 posted 09-08-2000 05:39 PM       View Profile for RSEvans   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RSEvans

I'm glad I got back in time not to miss this gem, ol pal bal...now..if you're sure you're through with her...send her my way...
Balladeer
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23 posted 09-08-2000 10:34 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

hehe. Thanks to you all for joining in the fun and to the Aussies for showing their great sense of humor.Languages can indeed be fun....now I'm off to find out what lie doggo means. I have NO clue...!!!!

Angelswing...I'm preferable to bangers myself  
Sunshine
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24 posted 09-08-2000 10:43 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Everyone already said it all...so
thanks for the giggles...
 
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