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Open Poetry #9
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Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan

0 posted 2000-09-07 02:51 AM



Atop my roof I veiw the world
A tiny spec in giant swirls
Of matter, gas and planets alike

Atop my roof I feel a breeze
The coolness puts myself at ease
I've never felt so pure, so real

Atop my roof I think of all
Surviving on our tiny ball
Of fire, water, wind and rock

Atop my roof I shed a tear
In joy, because I hold so dear
Life, such a special thing

But at this moment I am just me
A peice of this living harmony

Finally I set down my pen
"Here's to life" I say again


Lucidity is the answer to all problems

© Copyright 2000 Lucius Cade - All Rights Reserved
Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
1 posted 2000-09-07 08:17 AM


"Here's to life"

I second that! Great poem, nice details!

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-09-07 09:12 AM


Lucius, the way you have expressed the writer's (whether it be you or merely the narrator) point of view in this piece is quite interesting, allowing the reader to place himself within the observation as well as respond to the mesmerizing quality of the overall relative perspective. You did all this and yet kept it simple!

Good writing, to my way of thinking.  

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau



Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
3 posted 2000-09-07 10:26 AM


Excellent!

Corinne

Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan
4 posted 2000-09-08 11:45 AM


Wow, medowmuse that is an very interesting point of view. Thanks for replying.

Lucidity is the answer to all problems

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