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Passions in Poetry

8th century proverb (Steve's challenge)

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Effigy
Member
since 04-11-2000
Posts 490
Just sitting at the computer


0 posted 09-07-2000 12:46 AM       View Profile for Effigy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Effigy



On midnightís dreary ride
and in hellish, freakish weather
two surviving angles did confide,
and two demons did come hither.
With human bodies, and eyes of Hellís fury
the hatred shook even stone wall monuments.
The demonís spread making reality ever so blurry
impeded not by God nor Catholic convents.
With each virgin drop of blood
the demonís offspring spawned
bringing about an apocalyptic flood
as that dismal, black sun dawned.
Demons
She saw it all, from behind those sad eyes.
Her being a shy little girl, mental state in questioning
The whole world thought it only lies,
They tended to business, as a whole did nothing.
Demons
They are all around, watching from every possible side.
The little girl, and every paranoid man is knowing
That under the bed, and in dark is where the demons reside
And that is the place where their army is still growing.
© Copyright 2000 Effigy - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


1 posted 09-07-2000 02:53 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Effigy~ THAT is down right Creepy!!! Wow! Excellent!   -SEA

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 07-29-2000
Posts 9235
Victoria Australia


2 posted 09-07-2000 04:43 AM       View Profile for Kethry   Email Kethry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kethry

Scary, especially as the army's growing.
Be well
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-
Effigy
Member
since 04-11-2000
Posts 490
Just sitting at the computer


3 posted 09-07-2000 10:21 AM       View Profile for Effigy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Effigy

I hope I didn't give you nightmares...well hold on yes I do.  BOOO!!!  
forne_marin
Member
since 04-13-2004
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina


4 posted 05-04-2004 09:36 AM       View Profile for forne_marin   Email forne_marin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit forne_marin's Home Page   View IP for forne_marin

Not much on this one. I liked it okay. It's a decent story, but the rhythm is awful and the story is a little covoluted. It's hard to follow and understand what's going on.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

 
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