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Open Poetry #9
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the fall remained
| Open Poetry #9 |
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the fall remained |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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December was shadows cast by frosted juniper cloaks. January wasn't her strongest work; she never played the right notes. February simply met the border of quiet and renamed its content. March came with greening leaves and stamped mud in the fountain. April rose like dusty birds and grew among the flowers. May was the color of her hair as she spoke of her declining powers. June was a thistle in a bush, whispering only when the wind came. July was a sexless tower of heat that sweat out the saddest blue flame. August was a clearing sky full of the sounds of aircraft. September was a meeting of willows, over which you could hear her bright laugh. October was a warming chill for 31 separate dawns. November spread its beauty out, and again to the month I was born. Don't tell me to look in the dark To find out what I need. Don't tell me the moonless night Is the prettiest type of need. Don't make me ache for you When I'm already through that field. The fall remained after you were gone; See what power it wields. See me start to heal. See me alive and real. Oh, the freedom I feel. |
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| © Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
BSquirrel~ In my humble opinion - this is by far the most evocative of your works. You flipped the pages of the calendar with phrases of precisioned beauty of thought. 'Don't make me ache for you When I'm already through that field. The fall remained after you were gone; See what power it wields.' What a WONDERFUL display of your talent. Definitely good writing. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
January wasn't her strongest work; she never played the right notes. February simply met the border of quiet and renamed its content. ====================== May was the color of her hair as she spoke of her declining powers. June was a thistle in a bush, whispering only when the wind came. July was a sexless tower of heat that sweat out the saddest blue flame. ====================== September was a meeting of willows, over which you could hear her bright laugh. October was a warming chill for 31 separate dawns. November spread its beauty out, and again to the month I was born. Don't tell me to look in the dark To find out what I need. Don't tell me the moonless night Is the prettiest type of need. Don't make me ache for you When I'm already through that field. The fall remained after you were gone; See what power it wields. See me start to heal. See me alive and real. Oh, the freedom I feel. ===================== *shaking head and smiling* *feeling worship mode kick in*  what an AMAZING way to start my day ... *oh how i love ... when you write like this* *smile* >>Don't tell me to look in the dark To find out what I need. Don't tell me the moonless night Is the prettiest type of need. Don't make me ache for you When I'm already through that field. The fall remained after you were gone; See what power it wields.<< OH MAN ...how much wisdom and grace can one verse have ... >See me start to heal. See me alive and real. Oh, the freedom I feel.< me thinks me sweet squirrel grew some butterfly slipper wings of him own... later-flying-free-gator love ya me |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
This is the most amazing poem in imagery and passion I have read in a long time. I commend you on this and I am so happy that I was able to read it. I am putting this in my library and I have to tell you one more time....I loved this one and I will be looking forward to more of your works and you definitely have a fan after this one.  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
So glad to see you, for I have missed your poetry...you have wrapped the months up with such perfection and the last was wonderful to here...so much YES, I do love it! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Wow! I'm a November baby, Fall is my time of year.....this is fantastic. -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Marge, All I can say is thank you. Butterfly Slippers, Way to try and mask worship mode, but I see through it! How's it goin'?Mark, Thank you. Your reply made me smile more than I thought I'd be able to. Martie, One of the side effects of being back on the web is now also being a member of AOL. Let's have a moment of peace. Merci, SEA. Mikey Chmielecki (gee) [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 09-07-2000).] |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
BS~ wonderful writings indeed. loved every word as you passed through the seasons Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Now, now, I know I've been neglectful, but there is the pesky thing called life that keeps knockin' at my door...(insert smile here) and you knew I could not let this one slide by without comment...I did so love the feel of this, ponderous, sometimes melancholy but with that defiance that you know that I love....excellent Mike! |
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