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Open Poetry #9
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brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2000-09-05 02:58 PM


Hold my face up to the light.
Is it as transparent
as you
first thought?
Cling to my lips,
kiss and
tell
then cast another
white spell,
draw out the edges,
dust out the narrow crevasses
in chalk, under close
light you dance upon my flaws
spinning around a madness,
a disease
we are not normal,
nor moral
darkness clashes
in your eyes
fires merge
and
the truth of me
is revealed…

Hold that piece of flesh,
lovingly squeeze
my hands flutter
upon your chest.
There in strobe euphoria
you ask "what do you mean
to me, what are you?
show me your identity."
It grows on bones
and muscles flesh
the fabrics, the stray thoughts
and dreams housed within.
If you want to know me
then cut deep
to where I lie naked,
to where I am pale skinned
and a bare outline,
one single thread of spine,
clinging to it my strained ideology
pull it free and I crumble.
And all that you see
many masks will shatter.
I am not pretty
nor just or unjust,
or anything static
I am, it seems,
many faces in transitory.
What masks will
you select for me to wear?
==========

Some poets simply have a strikingly original and powerful style that leaves a lasting impact, and I am sure that everyone will agree that Doreen Peri is one of those poets. So I shall credit this poem as been inspired by Doreen's style even if I am just being disillusional and think I have managed to get anyway near the greatness of Doreen's style. This is just encase she sets the plagiarism police on me LOL.  
  



Sit down and bargain
"Until your tongues are dry If the havoc and the shame continue We'll drown you in our putrefaction" Primo Levi



[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 09-05-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-09-05 03:07 PM


WOW
This is a capital M
M for Magnificent...


regards,
sudhir

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
2 posted 2000-09-05 06:36 PM


This topic always has a draw for me....I love to see how others view the "mask" of life...You my friend are an amazing poet!!!  WOW...stunning work!!!
insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

3 posted 2000-09-05 07:24 PM


Excellent as always!
I liked this read Brian thank you.

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
4 posted 2000-09-05 07:57 PM


Brian is spreading his poetic wings...boy am i glad to witness his transformation

favourite lines here:
one single thread of spine,
clinging to it my strained ideology
pull it free and i crumble

more often than not, i feel exactly the same way too


doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2000-09-05 08:28 PM


brian- you are an absolutely powerful, dynamic poet and this piece is superb! i am honored to read words you write about how my poetry has inspired you ... honored and flattered.... this is a piece of work i surely wish had written and your talent with the language is remarkable. Thank you for your kind words... and credit yourself!! you are, without any doubt, one of the most talented and prolific writers here and you have my utmost respect. This verse hits hard!!!      

~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-09-05 08:45 PM


brian--Doreen is right, you know...credit yourself...her writing is wonderful and unique and you can only be you and awesome is your name.
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
7 posted 2000-09-06 06:05 PM


Sudhir, thank you my friend.

BDC, thank you...I am blushing..."amazing" no I am just a fellow poet. thank you gratefully.

insect, thanks for reading and replying.
  
kaile, I am always eager to try new things, new poetic masks, maybe even a haiku if some one can teach me how to write one. THank you for your wonderful reply.

doreen, I haven't even sent you the bribe money to say nice things about me yet (sorry I always try to disarm certain situations with humour).

I did not actually set out to write a poem in your style but I always try to be aware of styles of poetry that I enjoy and your style is stunning, so I decided to thief some parts of it, but I don't want to plagarise you and you deserve inspirational credit. THank you for your support wonderful comments and of course for being an inspiration.

Martie, I agree I am not trying to mimic Doreen, but I believe in learning from all the styles of poetry I see here at Passions it is just that Doreen's style and formatting has left a huge impact on me. That is not to say that I have not learned from all the other poets at the site, I have and hope to continue to trade ideas. Thanks for your comments and wonderful response.  



"Think I'm - I'm lost among the undergrowth So much so I woke up I love you all the same"
Manic street preachers
You stole the sun from my heart.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2000-09-06 09:29 PM


Brian, I am an ardent fan of Doreen's writing abilities and, let me tell you, you are exceptional in your own right. This poem is an awesome piece of work. What you can do with words is enviable indeed......
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

9 posted 2000-09-06 09:38 PM


~I am completely impressed. Any style from you always holds such a punch,...a lasting effect. You are truly gifted. I mean that. You have a way. Take care now B. *Peace.
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
10 posted 2000-09-06 10:57 PM


the truth of me
is revealed…

you have a way of expressing that holds my attention...and  makes me look inside myself for answers...as always I enjoyed...and no matter what style you write..the words are truly  your own
~~soft thanks
Maureen

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2000-09-08 02:48 PM


Balladeer, spitfire and Maureen wow thank you
guys for your wonderful replies, totally blown
away by your very generous responses, they put a
big smile onmy face on this grey day. thank you,
bumping this one to the top for my ego, I need to
use it as a cushion at the moment. Thanks again guys.

"Think I'm - I'm lost among the undergrowth So much so I woke up I love you all the same"
Manic street preachers
You stole the sun from my heart.

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