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Open Poetry #9
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Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-09-05 07:24 AM


*I saw Mark's first Haiku post pop back up this morning, and had to smile, for I knew I'd put off your challenge Mark ... so here you go (though cheating a tad I fear!)  

***

A Limerick for Mark First

I wanted to try me a Haiku,
But nature theme lost to a Senryu,
So how's this instead,
For this challenge I dread,
Not a gal of "few" words ... but I tried to!

***

The Liquid Motion - Senryu 5-7-5

Quietly words come
Cascading fluidly down
To soak dry parchment.

***

A Poet's Pen - Senryu 5-7-5

A poet's pen poised
Wishing willing words to waft
Preciously to page.

***

I had to add a little alliteration as a bonus try! LOL  

© Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2000-09-05 07:37 AM


Kit, nice Senryu's and interesting limerick

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-09-05 07:42 AM


Kit~
EXCELLENT !
Absolute perfection in Senryu !
Mark will LOVE them !

Didn't you just wrap it up wonderfully.
Like the alliteration touch too.
Favorite is The Liquid Motion.
You are rocking gal !
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2000-09-05 09:48 AM


So nicely done...

great work, Kit...

regards,
sudhir

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2000-09-05 09:52 AM


Kit my dear sweet friend...I love what you do.  You know that my face is full of smiles dont you?  OF course you do.  Now that you have done the senyru here is a topic for your HAIKU!!!!  lol...didn't think I would let you off on a technicality did you.

Let's see now...hmmmmm ok got it.

squirrel (s)

  

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
5 posted 2000-09-05 09:54 AM


Forgot to tell you.  I loved the limerick and you spoil me.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2000-09-05 11:04 AM


Thanks for the support Kethry, Marge and Sudhir! I very much appreciate (and need) it with these!

OK ... Thanks for the fun Mark! Now here I try again ... geez, this is tough for me!  

Another Limerick For Mark:

I’m enjoying your sweet little jest,
For you’ve put my mind quickly to test,
Can’t say I’m too good,
But then try as I would,
For this Haiku on squirrel’s ain’t my best!

***

The Squirrel’s Camouflage – Haiku 5-7-5

Twitching nose and tail
Soft fur to mask it’s disguise
Sweet little rodent

***

The Trapeze Artist – Haiku 5-7-5

Gauging the distance
Grey squirrel flies as acrobat
Bird feeder, it’s mark

Phew! OK ... can I go back to my “little ballads” now Mark???
     Plllllease???       


[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 09-05-2000).]

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
7 posted 2000-09-05 11:18 AM



   Kit...
         Wonderful!!!!


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-09-05 04:33 PM


Kit I thank you for all your fun and your dedication to making me smile.  Yes my sweet you may go back to your ballads now and of course you know I love them, but I bet you will be back to write more of these little gems.....wanna bet?

hugs to you for making my day.

kaile
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since 2000-02-06
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singapore
9 posted 2000-09-05 08:13 PM


Kit,moi think you have a natural talent for this form of poetry..enjoyed muchly all your attempts,esp The Liquid Motion....

now if i give you a word,will you write more such gems for me too?plsssssssss

Rabbit(s)

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
10 posted 2000-09-05 09:05 PM


~Sunny:  Thank you for the support!

~Mark: You silly, look what you've started ... aaahhhhh!  Did you put Kaile up to this? Hugs right back at ya! (and you won the bet)  

~Kaile:  Another aaaahhhhhh! OK  

***

A Limerick for Kaile

Now dear Kaile has joined in the fun,
Fear my mind is about to be spun,
Again I shall try,
For I can't just sit by,
Oh dear Mark, just what have you begun?!?

***

Rabbit's Foot - Haiku 5-7-5

Floppy-eared teddy
With eyes of a frightened doe
"Lucky" they call him

***

Bugs - Haiku 5-7-5

Buck-tooth bunny teeth
Wascally wabbit devine
Watch out Elmer Fudd

***

Phew ... another round! Thanks for the workout Kaile!  

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

11 posted 2000-09-05 10:02 PM


These are all great! Good job!

Denise

SEA
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with you
12 posted 2000-09-05 10:23 PM


Kit~ VERY VERY NICE!! -SEA

Live,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB


insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

13 posted 2000-09-05 10:37 PM


My first attempt for you


Ontario frost
Arrives before autumn night
Crystallizing all


I liked your poems a lot!
~KEEP IT BEAUTIFUL~




[This message has been edited by insect (edited 09-06-2000).]

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
14 posted 2000-09-06 04:05 AM


Dearest Kit
Well done indeed
Job well penned
See ya
Tracie  


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
15 posted 2000-09-06 08:02 AM


Many hearts today
smiling upon yours today
waiting for Kit's pen

~~~~~*~~~~~

Haiku said and done
Senyrus are needed now
about love of friend



.....thar you go girlie....you started with them so let's see you finish with them and then you can write us all a beatiful "Prose" to tell us how much fun you had and the thoughts racing in your head.LOL

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
16 posted 2000-09-06 01:49 PM


~Denise, SEA and Tracie: Thank you soooo much for the
words of encouragement!        

~Insect: I awoke in my corner of Ontario to this same scene!  
Beautifully descriptive Haiku! I’ll try to follow your lead
(a little less eloquently though, but here goes);

Sun rises slowly
Warming the earth’s crust
Transforms frost to dew

***

~Mark:  Aha! Still going we are! Wonderful Senyrus Mark .. thank you for these lovely gems! Now lets see ...

***

Another Limerick for Mark (really being spoiled here)

There once was a fellow named Mark,
Who challenged me just for a lark,
So I tried what he said,
While smoke poured from my head,
Thank you Mark, for the fun that you sparked!

***

By Your Side – Senyru 5-7-5

Never a moment
Alone in this cold vast world
For I am your friend

***

A Friendly Smile – Senyru 5-7-5

Teasing and taunting
Good humour to lift you up
In your times of need

***

Luminous Friend – Senyru 5-7-5

Radiant beauty
Shines from deep within your soul
To lighten my heart


And this is the way I will end it for you, my luminous friend. Thanks Mark!  


[This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 09-06-2000).]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
17 posted 2000-09-06 06:06 PM


---- winking at you as you think it has ended......ROFL......
  Thank you for pleasing me with all your words my friend and I leave you with this.

Friendly fun in words
Has made me smile on this day
Kit has grown with pen


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
18 posted 2000-09-06 11:00 PM


Aaahhh ... and now I can rest.  Thank you Mark for the lovely words, and for nudging me along to try my hand at a few of these. This was a wonderful test to see if I really can write "short" verses ... sigh ...

Thank you again for your patience and kindness ... and now, my luminous friend, I shall sleep ... (and dream of lengthy ballads)  

With much appreciation,
/Kit

kaile
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since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
19 posted 2000-09-08 12:39 PM


kit,you sure take to haikus like a duck takes to water...im greatly impressed

but before you go forth to write your ballads,pls write a tanka(5 line japanese poetry with 5-7-5-7-7 syllable count which can be about anything) for me okie...you really thought i was going to let you off so easily...LOL

thanx for indulging moi

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
20 posted 2000-09-09 09:12 AM


Now really Kit,
I'll have a fit
if there's a doubt
in leaving Sunshine out
but Kaile beat me to it.

So come back to us
in loving tender ways soon
leaving ink to page


Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
21 posted 2000-09-09 10:12 AM


Little does Nan know ... she's been my saving grace here! LOL!   /pip/Forum22/HTML/000057.html

~Kaile:  Now why did I somehow know this might be coming? LOL, thank you Kaile! I've been leaning on Nan's poetry workshop instructions, so I'll switch to her 5-7-5-7-5 format (or she might admonish me!) Yipes!  

~Sunshine:  What a beautiful Senyru you've left for me here ... just lovely, thank you!

***

A Limerick for Kaile and Sunshine

You've put me to test once again,
So I'll try to lift up this here pen,
For a Tanka I'll try,
Don't know how, don't know why,
But I'll struggle, this one for my friends.

***

Early Morning Sun - Tanka 5-7-5-7-5

Life-giving sunshine
Gleaming radiantly down
To light nature's fire
Awakening the beauty
Of all living things

***

OK, now according to Nan's workshop page, I think I've covered most of these? Phew! Saved!  

Thanks for all the fun, much appreciation for giving some inspiration everyone!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

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