Misfits(first try at free-form haiku)--criticism welcome

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Open Poetry #9

Misfits(first try at free-form haiku)--criticism welcome

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2000-09-04 10:11 PM

Weeds yanked hard
Feeling their pain
Yet alone,i weep

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

1 posted 2000-09-04 11:19 PM

As a short 3 line poem I love it - but theres's a simple rule for haiku:
syllable count is 5-7-5 (lines 1,2 & 3)

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

2 posted 2000-09-05 07:01 AM

thank you Wilfred Keats for your comments...well i have been reading some haiku and i find that not all of them subscribe to the 5-7-5 syllable count

after i have read INclan's haiku(not following the syllable count either)in Open#1 , i think that this form of haiku is what is called as free form haiku and am tempted to try it out

i dont know whether i am right or wrong in writing haiku as such and will be looking forward to more such comments

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

3 posted 2000-09-05 07:08 AM

This is great free form, it works as a triplet, but I believe I must agree with Wilfred re syllable count for Haiku.

Kethry

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

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