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Open Poetry #9
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X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon

0 posted 2000-09-03 01:54 PM


learning to live with the emptiness
in my heart that was you
is almost impossible
almost
I feel dead inside
like a cancer ate away
all my emotions
until only a You-shaped numbess
was left
my heart struggles to beat
in my aching chest
as the silence of what you do not say
lingers long across the room
and I, learning to quiet my tears
embarrassed by my desolation
unwilling to plead for mercy
from you anymore
am left so terrified to hear you say the words again
"I am not in love with you anymore"
tortured by the fact that I
in my selfishness and cruelty
that I was  the catalyst
for your cold heart and chilling words
my lips feel as though they'll never smile again
my cheeks would break if I tried
for I have schooled them
schooled them well
to show nothing
nothing at all


© Copyright 2000 Heather Walters - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2000-09-03 02:03 PM


*chills*
((hugs))

when i got what i asked for and was still surprised, i wish i'd written something as good as this... not to say that it's the same... but... it's all the same, really, isn't it? when it's over... it's all the same  

you are one fine verse writer, ms. angelx... your words are stinging, biting, and oh so very real and painful

thank you for sharing with us...    

[This message has been edited by doreen peri (edited 09-03-2000).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
2 posted 2000-09-03 02:13 PM


Anyone who's been there - and that's most of us - knows that this is the beginning of healing - and that there are unfortunately more stages ahead that you, and only you, will have to endure.  You're strong - endure them you will. I'm counting on you, my friend...
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
3 posted 2000-09-03 02:29 PM


The pain of this is overpowering at times but I see strength in your words that will no doubt have you shining among the best.  I would hope that this is not what you are going through in real life but if it is I offer you my best wishes for you in rainbows and smile of butterflies.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
4 posted 2000-09-04 06:02 AM


This is great writing....

regards,
sudir

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-09-04 09:22 AM


XAngel~

'learning to live with the emptiness
in my heart that was you
is almost impossible
almost'


And your keyword is almost.

In your leave-taking
you've set me free
to fly again
Maybe not as high
as before (at first)
but rest assured
I will soar
As soon as
I get my wings back
I will soar again

Big ole' *HUGS* !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

6 posted 2000-09-04 10:35 AM


Oh Heather...

I'm so sorry.



I only hope the writing helps you...

hugs

K

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

7 posted 2000-09-04 10:47 AM


This piece is so well put together, it must be coming from your heart. Excellent, emotive composition. Hang in there.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau



X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon
8 posted 2000-09-04 11:24 AM


Thanks for your support everybody...I'm trying to figure out how to function right now....

And Marge...

In your leave-taking
you've set me free
to fly again
Maybe not as high
as before (at first)
but rest assured
I will soar
As soon as
I get my wings back
I will soar again

this was wonderful....thank you.
~Heather

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
9 posted 2000-09-04 01:38 PM


that I was  the catalyst
for your cold heart and chilling words
my lips feel as though they'll never smile again
my cheeks would break if I tried
for I have schooled them
schooled them well
to show nothing
nothing at all

This one sent shivers down my spine,

"I feel dead inside
like a cancer ate away
all my emotions"

those lines really sting, excellentlty written piece, gut wrenching honesty, take care and be well.



Sit down and bargain
"Until your tongues are dry If the havoc and the shame continue We'll drown you in our putrefaction" Primo Levi


Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
10 posted 2000-09-05 03:19 PM


X Angel, a very powerful write. A slice of raw reality. Great Job.

Hugs

Parker

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2000-09-05 03:37 PM


Terrified, shocked, gasping for breath, I can still remember those words...I don't love you anymore...at first I thought I could win back her Love...soon I learned that those words were written in stone....
I am so sorry and I sincerely hope for the best for you...James

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
12 posted 2000-09-05 04:25 PM


It hurts to realize - that once I was 'him'
It is a long story and I take my share of the blame - 3 years later she remarried - and 4 years later  - I found a real love for me -
We'd been married many years - and it took a cataclysm of events - to shake us from the lethargy of what our marriage had become - but when the dust settled - she still loved me - but I saw a different her that I did not love. Regardless it really was painful for all of us she, I and the kids - but her last years were happier I'm sure as mine have been.

before I remarried -  I had one walk out on me and I learned the pain of that POV

[[[hugs]]] (and prayers too)

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