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Open Poetry #9
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Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2000-09-02 09:31 PM



You wrote the words I needed to say
in the poem you posted yesterday
I read them as I was passing through
marveling at what those words could do

A memory surfaced in that short time
the moment it took to read your rhyme
A vision of you dressed all in black
a flower for me, held behind your back

My prom dress, pink organza and lace
curls framing my beaming face
Life was simpler at seventeen
before we saw all the things we’d seen

Then there was war and protestations
love ins, peace outs and incantations
Children born, grew up, left home
and there we were, all alone

But your head was turned one last time
she wooed you away with silken rhyme
Words you claimed I never said
touches missed in the marriage bed

You stormed out to join your new love
in a place in Ohio, I’d never heard of
Being without you, I found my peace
based upon your act of release

I know the lies you held as true
were lies that she had fed to you
And now you write your poet's plea
that life is sad without a ‘you and me’

Ten years passed since you left this place
Now I find tears drying upon my face
Just fancy seeing your words today
you wrote the words I needed to say.


© Copyright 2000 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2000-09-02 09:36 PM


Oh Sharon ... incredible sentiments here. You drew me in to these words, to feel the emotions you so deftly and delicately wrote. Beautiful writing Poet deVine ... very well done and heartfelt!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

(PS...I'm going to pull out Swan Song again and give it another read ... it's been years!)

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
2 posted 2000-09-02 09:45 PM


Sharon
I find it incredible that you can 'vent' so beautifully -how many drafts did it take? - this poem is priceless!

Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
3 posted 2000-09-02 09:46 PM


What a sad but beautiful retrospective.
Such a captivating way you have with the reader, as though you are sitting them down and speaking with them.  Your timeline and images move seamlessly... flawless.
A truly incredible piece.

Trev.

Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
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Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2000-09-02 09:51 PM


Thank you all so much.

I was thinking earlier (in the depths of a bout of writer's block) that you all are writing the words I would love to say..you write such great poetry! And then this idea popped into my head. It's not based on fact..just a bit of inspiration from all my Passionate Poetic friends.

Thanks!

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2000-09-02 11:36 PM


My first comment was to be "awesome"

and my second "inspirational"

and then when I read your comment,...all I can say is "thank you" for validating that we are all inspired by the others here who write from both imagination and experience, for without either, we are all speechless...

and by the way, this piece is "priceless"...

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2000-09-03 12:02 PM


Sharon,
I am hoping to also draw on the inspiration from Passions as I study poetry and sort out my own personal life. I truly don't know what I would do without Passions!



Kathleen


Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2000-09-03 12:09 PM


Excellent deVine. . . I know that I too have felt this way. . . I have drawn much inspiration from everyone here. . .it's nice to see that it goes both ways. . .

Superb poem. . .

-----------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 2000-09-03 12:38 PM


Sharon I don't know how you could say this wasn't very good.  This is exquisite!!
Beautifully portrayed emotions, very well put together!  ~~EXCELLENCE~~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-09-03 12:45 PM


Sharon I swear I buy every word you write, it is all so real for me...I'm almost kind of bummed---ya mean that there were no love ins and peace outs either?  at tell me the dress was real...geez, but you are good.
Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 2000-09-03 12:58 PM


Never went to a prom....never entered into the 'peace' things...it's all make-believe!  
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

11 posted 2000-09-03 01:07 AM


I enjoyed this one PdV...

Great writing and the flow of verse just scrolled down the screen...

You captured the reader whole heartedly!

Coco  

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
12 posted 2000-09-03 01:14 AM


i love how writers can become actors yuh i say phooey to smarties that think yuh gotta live it to write it no way...and yuh i didnt go to prom either i wonder what the ratio of poets to non prommers is?
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2000-09-03 02:42 AM


PoetdeVine~
This was wonderfully well done.
Like you, I find much inspiration on these pages.
Why, I even scour the basement of the archives
to find some inspirational gems.

We are wealthy in inspiration from some wonderful poets.

*Walt, I'm a 'prommer' - twice !
Now as I prepare to return in October for a
class reunion ... I will be able to share so much of all of you with them.

Oh, stars ... what if none of them grew up to be a poet ?
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
14 posted 2000-09-03 03:06 AM


Sharon,
You wrote the words I wanted to say
and you wrote them so well, it just made my day.

Thanks for the brilliant poem even if it's not real. I find the inspiration from passions also sets me off writing.
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

15 posted 2000-09-03 04:49 AM


The first thing that inspired me to write was my first visit here at passions  
It's a great poem, I loved it!

Marsha
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
16 posted 2000-09-03 07:05 AM


Wow this is a real gem. It's so perfect, I really love it. Inspiration from the masters here has helped me enormously, it's wonderful what family can do. And this is a wonderful family, always sharing their gifts so freely.  
American Princess
Junior Member
since 2000-08-21
Posts 49
USA
17 posted 2000-09-03 07:55 AM


Poet deVine,

Just beautiful, sad and sounded so true! I am learning alot since I got here. (I never went to a prom either!) I enjoyed your words..

American Princess




It's only me, thinking out loud...

Mark R.
Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 113
San Francisco, CA.
18 posted 2000-09-03 08:26 AM


Beautiful poem.  Enjoyed it tremendously.  It pulled at my heartstrings and had me reeling in emotions.  Your poetry always brought out so much feeling.  Keep up the great writing.
JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
19 posted 2000-09-03 08:29 AM


Lovely to read...James
Nan
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since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
20 posted 2000-09-03 09:27 AM


Whether we went to the prom or not - There's much truth in these words.  You do have a way of calling life as it is, PdV.  This work is certainly one of your superbly introspective best..
Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
21 posted 2000-09-03 10:44 AM


Hi Sharon,

To see the one you gave your all turn just to see another, this I know well not so many years gone by but just the same power does fly, the love deeply bedded remains for me, just in a different place and time that only the mind can feel and see. One thing I've learned from my past is just that it's past and now the future awaits my presence to be born of a different seed and may I take the wisdom gained and gleam a different scene.

Miss. Poet deVine,
As you said others words have an igniting affect bring on memories either put aside or packed away and your poem does just as it should bring feelings in either direction to the for front and give life to anothers dreams, desires, past and hopes. Loved this one friend. And im aware this was not in your life's past but was in mine.

Love, Cerenity


"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
22 posted 2000-09-03 10:52 AM


Good morning Poet deVine,
And to think that I almost kept on going by instead of stopping! This is beautiful, stupendous, and unequivocally touching to me. I am so glad that I did stop.

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

23 posted 2000-09-03 09:24 PM


Fantastic writing, Sharon!  

Denise

doreen peri
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since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
24 posted 2000-09-03 11:04 PM


fine writing, sharon... enjoyed this!  
Auguste
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By the sea
25 posted 2000-09-03 11:35 PM


Sharon,

This was so well written...so sad..you really did such a fine job.    Hey, I remember those days.  Is my age showing?

Best wishes to you!

Michael


Proust-
"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

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