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Open Poetry #9
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Ms. Balladeer, Don't Treat Your Man Like a Dog
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Ms. Balladeer, Don't Treat Your Man Like a Dog |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
She woke up this morning, Her dog was on her bed, Balladeer was somewhere else, Chasin' somethin' else instead. Her pooch was sympathetic, He's always by her side, He's faithful and devoted, A companion, friend and guide... Ms. "Deer"...Don't treat you man like a dog! If you need protection, If danger's lurking near, Your mutt would give his life for you, You'd never have to fear. But if Balladeer is hangin' round, Your future may be grim, Statistics show you 'probly' need protection from him, Ms. 'Deer', ...don't treat you man like a dog! If you treat you fella Like he was royalty, he'll just take you for granted ya know... Most males of "his" species, Don't exhibit loyalty, They just "Tom Cat" where-ever-they go.. It's hard to find a human male That's as charming as a pup, I know some who can speak and fetch Roll-over and sit up, Though they can do tricks for you With charm and dignity, And though they have great intellect, They lack nobility, Ms. 'Deer', don't treat your man like a dog. Well you can pamper your puppy, He'll love ya just the same, Unless ya got a man like me, (And Toerag is my name) Ms. 'Deer'....Don't treat your man like a dog. I'm the exception to the rule, I'll never make ya pay, Not like Balladeer that chases ev'ry ***** that wags her tail his way, Ms. 'Deer', ...Don't treat your man like a dog So feed your pooch Purina, And take him to the vet, Brush him when he's tangled, And dry him when he's wet. But if ya want a sweetie, Who would never let ya down, Forget about old Balladeer, Ya oughtta try the pound, Ms. 'Deer',...Don't treat your man like a dog! (This is a "Toeragged" version on an old blues song.....figgered it fit old Balladeer oh so well! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Ahhh, Toerag ... your reputation has preceded you! Many a reference I've read by others wishing you'd post again ... I can see why now! Wonderful, fun poem ... can't wait to see Balladeer's response!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Why thank you Kit, I know, I know, my reputation at being such a sincere, quiet, peaceful, fun loving, considerate, religious and sweet person....right?.....Of course, I'm also quite modest.....thanks for the reply....and yes, Balladeer's response is probably not going to be real nice, but he's just that sorta guy.....he's a real meanie to me, so is LongJohn the Sailor....he's next on my list....see ya |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Well, it's nice to see you here sir! And with such a 'tender' poem! I wept as I read it. Truly you are a man with a wonderful heart! (and I laughed til I cried!)  And we have told all the new members that you are exactly as you described yourself to Kit. (we had our fingers crossed at the time!) |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, yeah, TOE ! Modesty is a virtue ... and you're VERY virtuous ! ! Folks, he's all he claims ... AND MORE ! Glad to see your smiles ... and Balladeer and LongJohn will be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
LJA is gonna feel left out Toe...when you going to pick on him? (Shall I add he is currently cleaning the kitchen in the nude? How's that for some subject matter...you know the saying "Barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen"? Well, since I can't get him pregnant, I'll keep him nude!) |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ladies, protect your virtue LongJohn, come back from Hooters It seems that rascal Toerag Has access to computers! I thought he had been banned for life By Internet police But now he has snuck back again So much for Passion's peace. Perhaps he'll get arthritis And hit wrong keys somehow That just print out some gibberish Oh, hell...he does that now!! Welcome back, ya mangy cur!!!  |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
now that gave me a buzzz.... toe..!! now I'm gonna hafta stub ya.. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Toerag's back and we're gonna get happy...hey nah, hey nah...TOERAG'S BACK! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Have you no shame, Toerag? You're picking on my friend Deer again - while he's trying very hard to enjoy a vacation - and you keep him here at Passions to defend himself... Shame, Shame..  |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Toerag, Welcome back, I've heard a lot about you I hope half of it is true Now you're back at passions What are we going to do I know the jokes will flow now, thick and fast Just make it, hot and make it clean and make it fit to last. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This is delightful And you are such a charming pup Love ya Liz |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Toerag! You scalawag. What a great way to come back. I've missed your presence (in that, Balladeer doesn't make nearly as fine a target as you - heh heh). Great poem, BTW. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ta hell with Labor Day... Toerag's baaaaaaack and it feels like Christmas!!! (Well... as long as I don't leave the protection of air conditioning to broil in 108 degree temps! LOL) And ya wrapped Deer up nicely here, Toe... keep these gifts coming! *G* (Don't want LJA and Hawk to feel left out! LOL) |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
This was a delight to read. Very funny! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
OOoooohhh yeahhhh I think your reputation is so well deserved. Excellent for the laughs and with such "SWEET SINCERITY" too. ROFL. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
TOE!!!! I've missed you and your wonderful humor.......if you were my puppy, I'd pet you every night! -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Toe--so glad to see you back and ready to jab a few good punches at your deer friend...you know we have all missed you and your ever-lovin ways! |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
LMBO! Dang Toe, it's like you never left! LOL Jabbin with the left and jabbin with right...What a way to come back sockin' em |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Toe-Welcome back! I've truely missed the delight of the readings of you and Deer in poetic duel. I enjoyed. A thousand welcomes! |
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