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Open Poetry #9
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tear drops of a foggy sadness ... inspired by Doreen's poem...
| Open Poetry #9 |
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tear drops of a foggy sadness ... inspired by Doreen's poem... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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Shadows mark their outline - silhouetted shapes taking shape, forming a formation in foggy backdrops -- crystalline beads like pearls d r o p from the little girl's stained-glass eyes. She cries in vain for the moment had passed when he had promised to meet beneath the evening-coloured billboard which then would have smiled, saying 'Love is what I have for you' Alas! streams of tears are what she had to shed instead of her heart's tumult, anxiety or lovesongs And out there in the fading light fate enveloped a dark-filled shroud pitilessly painful leaving her in a state of mourning, pitch-black an unmarried widow mourning the lovebird that never perched on the bench within her soul and she let go another teary d r o p . . . |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
"crystalline bead like pearls..." your imagery sweeps away all senses... thank you Sudhir, for such a lovely piece... |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
Sudhir ... you're on your game with this one ... well composed, my friend ... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sudhir, this is lovely!  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh Sudhir--I do love your words..."Stained- glass eyes" and "evening-coloured billboard"...wow...great poem! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Karilea, This is a beautiful compliment, and coming from you, I am touched... Thank you so much  MA, my friend, thank you ... Poet deVine, it is an honour to see your name in my thread ... thank you... Martie, Thank you so much for your very kind words... Regards, sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 09-02-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I always feel your poems, and this one tugged at the sentiments. Outstanding presentation Liz |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This was exquisite Sudhir! It's wonderful to watch you try these different styles ... you masterfully conquer each and every one. This flowed just beautifully and the imagery and storyline was lovely. Well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I still say I want to be just like you when I grow up. Sudhir my friend...your growth is exceptional and you always leave me in awe at the easeness of which you pen. You have captured a bit of essence of life in this one..more than a bit actually..lovely read. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir~ What lovely images you bring to mind ... 'mourning the lovebird that never perched on the bench within her soul' Oh, my ! May I tell you that your talent is showing ! Delightfully so ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Liz, If only I can express how much I am honoured... Thanks Kit, your words are great words of praise for me always... thanks Mark, you are ever present... Thanks Marge, I am so glad that you are delighted... Thanks regards to all, my dear friends, sudhir |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Nicely done, Sudhir - I love your formatting.. It really adds to the essence of your work..  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Nancy, Now I am proud of my work.... your kind words are flattering this soul Thank you... regards, sudhir |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
Wow! What imagery! You outdid yourself on this one. This is truly a lovely poem. Keep up the excellent work! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
....the lovebird that never perched on the bench within her soul... such beautiful words, Sudhir. Your poetry continues to glow,,, |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Mona Lisa, Thanks a lot for coming by and for your kind words... Sir Balladeer, These are words I will cherish for a long long time... Thanks regards, sudhir |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~A very lovely piece indeed. Loved the imagery~ ~Cherie~ |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Oh Thank you so much Beth (Cherie)... regards, sudhir |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
(((((( hugs ))))))) i love it! thank you for writing and posting this. it's exquisite in it's sadness and beauty.  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Doreen, and I thank you so much for the inspiration and of course for your "exquisite" response... regards, sudhir |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
"stained glass eyes" is nothing less than brilliant! Sudhir, you are getting better and better. Kathleen |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
this was really beautiful ~H |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kathleen, Thank you so much for your kind words... Heather, Many Thanks for coming by and your lovely response... regards, sudhir P.S. Thanks once again are due to Doreen for the inspiration... |
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