»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #9
»
When She Was
| Open Poetry #9 |
|
When She Was |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
When She Was When she was three the wall around the garden was a path, it circled her dreams and wandered fragile with flowering and perfectly greening weed. She slipped inside a secret there, with her cat close at heel, she in corduroy and hand knit sweater, curls flying. She loved the dandelion and the swaying limb of the plum tree, the Acacia in bloom, little paths across the waist high green wore the imprint of her galloping feet. She liked a self day, draining sun and sour grass, her vision in just a back lot held her safe from the hands that ate fragile for dinner, swept it up and dumped it after feasting on its innocence. and for a time there was carefree and she could feel the rub of fur against her leg and forget that everything was not alright. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
HUSG |
||
|
Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Martie* Would be nice to go back to that sheltered little garden wouldn't it...hugs my friend, you have touched my heart with a heavy hand of weave tonight~ |
||
|
linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Sigh..... if only. Beautifully portrayed and very touching, and I remember that for my life too. Take care, Linda Munday |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Martie- your writing is superb... i can visualize this and you have chosen perfectly phrased lines to paint a memory with layers of color... excellent!!! thank you for your very fine writing.  -d |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I read many things in this Martie...and since I'm not seeing any other responses in the frame of mind that you have now posed for me, I will keep my two cents of thought, but thank you for doing yet another piece well done! |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
It always amazes me how you recall details about what people do and how they move form past times. You must have a photographic memory and turn those visions into beautiful words. This is delightfully written Liz |
||
|
Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
What we must put behind us - What we must let go As we get older As to adult we grow I remember the the garden The sandbox as well Corners for hiding Secrets we couldn't tell Thanks for taking me back Martie - (I think) No - seriously - I loved this - but you'd know that |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
A safe harbor of retreat in which to escape the reality of pain within the homelife. I see it a little different as well and my two cents is exactly as I stated it. A couple of things pop into me mind.... a child in a life of poverty in such or a child of abuse. Either way the back lot is her safe place of escape from all that. I may be totally off but as you and I agree on one thing....a poem may be interpreted many ways and those are mine. In any case it is a wonderful write and I loved it you know. |
||
|
Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
I found this very deep and well worded. Are you sure you are not published? Beautiful read.........yes, many views on this I would have to agree. I enjoyed it, makes the mind work a bit....... Jenn E |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I'm with you, Mark. When one refers to hands that ate fragile for dinner and feasted on innocence...well, it doesn't make for pleasant thoughts...I'm sure Sunshine agrees, too. Expertly written, Martie.... |
||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ What breadcrumbs you strew along the path. Such subtle imagery to take us to the safe retreat of that child. Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
||
|
Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Martie, It must be that we all desire to return to that garden of innocence now and then......a safe place with total freedom!! Thanks for the memories! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
A most magnificent retreat... gotta love your work, now and till forever.... regards O Martie, sudhir |
||
|
Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Martie, a wonderful write, I was thinking this was a vivid memory piece, until those last few lines. I got the same picture as Mark and Bal, and I don't like that picture very much. A wonderful piece, whatever is behind it, though the thoughts make me sad. Parker |
||
|
BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Oh Martie, Such gentle, tender memories you have brought to life with your words of this sweet little angel. I swear I could see her on the path wearing her little corduroys. This is a simply beautiful, wonderfully written memory. Bonnie |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Cindy--thanks for the hug! Butterflies--Yes, I think we all have different places to retreat when life gets to hard...this was mine when I was a child. Thank you Linda for the sweet reply. doreen--I am complimented by your words, for I admire your poetry a great deal. Sunshine--Thank you for your words...I know part of this picture was not so pretty, and it was the worst kind of killer of trust, sexual abuse at the hands of my grandfather. Liz--since it was my life, it was easy to remember...and I'm happy you saw the delight. Bill--thanks for letting me know your understanding with such a sweet verse. Mark--You got it right, cowboy...thanks so much for being you. Jenn E--What a nice thing to say...I have had a few poems published I am very happy to say. Balladeer-- Thanks for the expertly done...I really didn't mean for this to be a guessing game...I should have explained it maybe in the beginning...hope it is clear now. Marge--Love you too! Sunny--I still have a garden like that...but in it I can see everything more clearly...it is not for hiding, but includes remembering. Sudhir--you will always be so sweet, now until forever. Parker--No part of the picture was not very pretty...it wasn't meant to be...there are so many sharp contrasts in life. Thank you Bonnie for your touching words. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
