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Open Poetry #9
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Chrysalis......another free verse excursion
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Chrysalis......another free verse excursion |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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So here I am once again dressed in yesterday's clothes tie straight starch-collared acceptable shine on slightly worn shoes fielding responsibilities like Willie Mays (say hey, Willie) dispensing wisdom in small doses stoic features attentive eyes showing proper amounts of concern when necessary Ozzie Nelson personified and only the sharpest eyes staring intently at the uppermost tips of microscopically upturned corners of an otherwise immobile mouth would ever be able to uncover the presence of you. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is intriguing, Ozzie.. I doubt he knew Harriet as well as the wisdom that emanates from your work... I love seeing you do new stuff...  |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Yesterdays clothes...a nice touch, Balladeer. What one can learn when one looks closely enough... A captivating read, dear sir. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, You are good at what ever you do, what ever the task. Wonderful poem. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ah, is there no end to your talent? (I hope not!) Excellent sir!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Nan....those Nelsons were a riot, weren't they? Claire...very true....and so few people do. Thank you for reading  Sy....I'll remind you of your comment when you see ants running all over!  Thank you, my friend deVine one...hopefully my end is not in sight As always, I appreciate you  |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Dearest Balladeer, such stoicism ill suits you, much less than yesterday's cloths. Exult, dear friend, and let those quirky quirks shine forth unto the darkest blithering night. Excelsior! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Michael... this is an absolutely beautiful piece of poetry!... it is a wonderful reflection... and I think that this "free" verse is as much or more valuable than any other verse i have ever read from you... it is so full of reality, truth, emotion, and wonder... please continue writing in this style as it suits you well and i can feel your heart in the words. *smile* oh, and there is nothing "free" about this verse... this poetry is priceless. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I do love this...is like a wink of a photo...and all the influences that make up the who of who we are....thank you much... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Balladeer--I could not say it better the Doreen...she is so good at saying...and so I agree...write on with heart in hand! |
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the romantic fanatic Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 26Spokane, WA U.S.A. |
Excellent work, stirring deeply within me.....strangely, I can relate to it. I'm new here and I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ Oh, how I like this other side of your talent. I like the 'say hey, Willie' ! This piece is YOU ! A 'spruced up' you ... A kind of 'Sunday-go-to-meeting' thing ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Balladeer this is excellent. And the, say hey Willie was too good. Juls |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
ohhh this poem grabbed me by the heart! wow...amazing poem here! ~H PS I have a complaint....yer musclin in on my FV territory... *<8oÞ~* |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Beautiful! I'm partial to free verse with a subtle internal rhyme. I think it conveys the message better/deeper than rhyming. (Just my opinion, of course and probably not a popular opinion but.......) ...chanson~"Music, when soft voices die, Vibrates in the memory..." P.B. Shelley~ |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh....me like free verse from passions king of ballads Nicely done Balladeer |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
So like the 'Deer to run beauty wild and free and from chrysalis awakening hearken to you and me [can I adopt you?] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is right there amongst the most wonderful poems I ever have read... O gentle sire, O Sir Balladeer please continue on with this form of poetry for as long as these eyes allow their latches to be opened thus uncovering, glorious wonderful poems like these to be uncurled to bloom into the most lovely of s m i l e s My regards sudhir may you please seat yourself upon this flowered offering when you blossom into the most amazing butterflies [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-30-2000).] |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Not at all what I expected -eithe at the beginning - nor at the end- and the ending was very special "You" is most fortunate indeed - an excellent poem - reminds me a mite of Mr. Collin's work - and from me that is high praise. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Friends, this is not an evil attempt to revive this poem from the depths of page 3. It's just that I've been on planes and in taxis half the day and this is the first chance I've had to check inot Passions and I cannot let these wonderful replies go by unacknowledged.... Alicat....ROFL!!! Yeah, right! Doreen....coming from someone whose free verse I worship daily this is indeed high praise. Thank you for your inspiration serenity.....the wink of a photo...what a perfect description...thank you!!! Martie...another free verse legend here with kind words. My cup slosheth over!! Thank you, Martie Romantic fanatic...A hearty welcome to you and thank you for reading... Marge...yep, sprucin's got its time and place, too. This side of me thanks you muchly Juliet...I'm VERY happy you liked it!! Xangel...Arnold Swartzenegger couldn't muscle in on your turf. You're the third muscatel, er, mouseketeer, er, musketeer with the two FV divas above. I'll try not to step on your turf too often chansondegeste...thank you for commenting and don't worry...if it is your opinion then it is a good opinion and will be respected by all....one of the great things about this place hoot...any comment from you is special indeed. Thank you..... Sunshine...yes, you can! I'm house-trained, don't eat much and have cut way back on the times I howl at the moon...but do I haveta call ya mommy? sudhir....what kind words in such a beautiful presentation!!! Thank you for the effort...it's magnificent! Wilfred Yeats...I thank you for a wonderful compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed... Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
there is not a lot i can add to what hasnt already been said...but I think this suits you sir...it just flows from start to finish and ooohhhhhhhh what a finish |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
I just want to say that I really like this free verse you've shared! It possesses a style one that mirrors the image I have of you when I read your poetry or review your dialogues in replies Very nice Sir B... Coco |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer - I apologize for not responding to this excellent free verse poem a lot sooner. I have just a couple of minor points to clarify *heh heh* When you wrote: So here I am once again dressed in yesterday's clothes Isn't this a new turn in fashion for you? After all, you have only one set of clothes. Have you loosened your ever-tight purse strings to buy a SECOND set of underwear?? We can only hope. And then, when you said... only the sharpest eyes staring intently at the uppermost tips of microscopically upturned corners of an otherwise immobile mouth would ever be able to uncover the presence of you. Are you finally admitting that you laugh at my poetry?? As for thinking of me.. well, we'd better clear this through Lorelei first, dontcha think? *innocent unworldwise eyes blinking* On a more serious note *and you thought I couldn't play a single serious note* - I'm not surprised at all by the excellence of this poem, Mike. Whatever the style, you have a wonderful gift in your poetic soul. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, This so deep and so brilliant a real jewel, worth hunting for and burying and saving for later. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
This free verse style definitely is one for you. Your ability to reach inside and share are amazing in whatever style you choose. I will join the others on saying that I hope you continue to grace us with more in this style and this side of you is most refreshing. Great read "deer" sir. |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Hmmmmmm hidden inner self ... kept my attention. Deb |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Only if you want to... |
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