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Open Poetry #9
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John Yaws
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860
Texas

0 posted 2000-08-28 10:30 PM


It was just a folding table, in a crowded laundromat.
It really doesn’t matter when, nor where the place was at.
I caught her looking straight at me, I had to look away...
Her loneliness, and fear, and doubt, were plain as light of day..

I felt that I’d intruded, that her very soul was bare-
I can’t forget the hunger, I saw bottled up in there.
She smiled, I nodded, turned away, for she must never know,
The impact that she had on me, I felt it like a blow.

My clothes were dry I folded them, and still I felt her eyes-
Grasping desperately to hold, I knew she realized...
That I would start my truck and leave, I almost felt her fright-
Two ships that pass out on the sea, then vanish in the night.

Two ships tossed by a tempest, as they wallow through life’s sea,
Loneliness a fact of life for those like her, and me.
Inexorably they’re drawn apart, to slowly fade from sight...
A product of the world they know, these ships that pass by night.


Visit My Home Page
http://www.geocities.com/montcogunslinger/Hompage.html



© Copyright 2000 John R. Yaws - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2000-08-29 02:45 AM


Great poem. I enjoyed it very much. Great usuage of ships.  

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
2 posted 2000-08-29 03:05 AM


Gunslinger, great work. I can even see it in my minds eye.
Dee

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

3 posted 2000-08-29 08:09 AM


"Two ships that pass out on the sea, then vanish in the night."

And again, my dear Troubadour, your perception and expressive verbal expertise make this a lovely, poignant read. Two ships, passing...

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


sonjes
Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-08-30 08:02 AM


You really caught me up in your poem, Gunslinger...I felt like I was there, I was party to the whole thing and it pierced my emotions.  Great writing!!!

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
-Enigma


Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
5 posted 2000-08-30 08:48 AM


I thoroughly enjoy this, Gunslinger.
It flows smooth like a gentle wave.
...chanson~

~"Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory..." P.B. Shelley~

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-09-05 07:56 PM


This is excellent, John! I think I now have a new favorite of yours! Wonderful writing!

Denise

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