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Open Poetry #9
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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

0 posted 2000-08-28 06:23 PM


When days unbidden come -- when nights are long
And passionless as dust – when hopeful song
Falls flat upon an ear inclined to doubt,
It simpler seems, perhaps, to stay without
The reach of fickle Fate. The lessons of
Deceit are harshly learned when styled as love;

What faerie-spell is this, this demon Love?
What wicked sprite hath willed that I should long
For what can only wound?  What creature of
The Tempter's cruel design hath shaped this song
That haunts me from within and from without?
What ill bewitches me, that I should doubt

The knowing of mine own desire -- to doubt
That all I know of pain was gained by "love' --
Such favor, I can manage well without!
Who dares to touch what I have hidden long
In darkened soul?  Who challenges my song –
Who dares to question the assurance of

A precept hard and dearly won?  If, of
Pretense, I'd suffered none – if this, and doubt
Were simply words in some sad stranger's song –
Perhaps I might be tempted now by love.
But I am scarred – the heart remembers long –
And marks this "prize" as better found without.

Yet still, this yearning gentle calls, without
The venom that I once accused it of;
Its manner delicate, its patience long,
It soothes with surety the wounds of doubt,
And meets my hesitance with words of love.
Its voice alluring, sweet; although this song

Is better sung by two. The very song
Whose spell I'd vowed to ever be without
Has charmed me all the same, it seems; for love
Is only strong as what it's fashioned of –
And ours was built on faith, dismissing doubt –
No lesser frame should hope to stand so long!

Now countless blessed, who long hath lain without,
The selfsame song shall have the telling of
Who ventured here in Doubt, and stayed in Love.

© Copyright 2000 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2000-08-28 08:23 PM


NO one dares to challenge you my queen.   Great work as usual. I am running out of words to thank you for sharing this beautiful talent that you have.  

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

2 posted 2000-08-28 08:35 PM


"But I am scarred – the heart remembers long –
And marks this "prize" as better found without."

Kess, your masterful command of our language and what seems like an internal and effortless sense of rhythm shine in this piece, my friend. Just beautiful, and what a lovely message. I hope to know it someday.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-08-28 08:50 PM


Very beautifully done, Kess! Absolutely beautiful!

Denise

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-08-28 08:50 PM


I will take you at your word that this is a sestina. . . and a superb one at that. . . again, as always, I am amazed at your command of the language and your ability to effortlessly paint such vivid and bright pictures. . .

Superb. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2000-08-28 09:50 PM


YYYYYESSSSSS !!!!!



Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
6 posted 2000-08-29 09:39 AM


Kess, you are without a doubt one of the finest writers, I've ever read.

Parker

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
7 posted 2000-08-29 11:04 AM


Excellent and quite Shakespearean, too!

That old question of love that haunts us all!

Corinne

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
8 posted 2000-08-29 11:32 AM


You know I really don't like you... right? You know that.

Maggynificently crafted...and I really hate that you can so effortlessly make it rhyme to boot.  

Grrr


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2000-08-29 12:42 PM


God, this was beautiful. I am sitting here in amazement at the pure lovliness and passion within this poem. And the format, technique, what ever we call it, well that was just stunning!
Thanks
catalinamoon

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
10 posted 2000-08-29 01:33 PM


You make a very difficult form seem effortless
It's smooth all the way through and if you hadn't meantioned sestina, I probably wouldn't have noticed the repetition of words.
In other words ---WHAT NAN SAID!!!
Liz

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
11 posted 2000-09-01 12:34 PM


Well. I see the word "effortless" coming up alot in the replies here, and I would have to add my two cents in as well - only I see you making love, over doubt, a seemingly effortless endeavor.  It's funny to look at where we were three months ago and where we are today... this poem says it all - and does so beautifully.  I love you babe - thank you for being ALL I ever dreamed of and so much more...


Michael

Fred Hobbs
Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329
Tallahassee, Florida, US
12 posted 2000-09-01 10:42 AM


All I can say is "WOW!"  Beautifully written and a gift to us all.  Thanks. . . fh
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