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Open Poetry #9
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Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

0 posted 2000-08-27 08:58 AM


I sat long after - staring at the walls blankly
Items in the room surrounded me
When I looked out the window night had come.
In the sky stars were flashing
Like fireflies in tall grass
And a full moon was rising on the horizon.
I went out into the night
My arm imagining the fullness of you

The fairy-like scene turned haunted and dark
For so completely you've become in my eyes
I felt immediately almost blind without you
My mind picturing only you
You the path, the way, my purpose

You a bright street light  - on a dingy dark street
Visions of your face looking back at me...
In each store window, in each passing face...

You've become engraved, inside me persevering
In copies without number,
Without drug my mind forms you ...
My senses hold you in three dimensions.

So in my reverie  
The night turns enchanting... O yes most lovely
In the center of the city... the street lights dazzle
The Moon shines brightly and those stars tiny fierce torches
A bejeweled canopy over our heads
You and I sleepy are together, wonderfully embracing
As we are every time in the twilight after love




© Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
1 posted 2000-08-27 09:17 AM


WOW this is superb.  I love the way you throw yourself into this and the flow was mesmirizing indeed.  Loved it.
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
2 posted 2000-08-27 01:41 PM


OOOOHHHHHHHHHH WIl...no words baby...just no words at all
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
3 posted 2000-08-27 01:47 PM



Ahhhhhhhhhh....I'm with Paula...this has left me speechless, and that's not an easy feat!!
            mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-08-27 01:57 PM


Wilfred~
Most enjoyable.

'And a full moon was rising on the horizon.
I went out into the night
My arm imagining the fullness of you'


Quite the image !  
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
5 posted 2000-08-27 07:12 PM


Mark - Paula - Sunny - Marge

~big smile~ - and most humble thanks



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-08-27 10:54 PM


This is wonderful writing, Bill...I think one of my favorites of those I have seen...very stirring read.
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
7 posted 2000-08-27 11:47 PM


Martie-
I am so pleased - such words from you mean very much to me with my humble efforts

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
8 posted 2000-08-31 04:35 AM


Even tho I have read this over and over there are still no owrds that can express how it makes me feel...
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

9 posted 2000-08-31 08:44 AM


Bill, I found this to be an interesting piece, as you guided the reader through the teller's imagining time. The transition from an almost detached observation ("- staring at the walls blankly/
Items in the room surrounded me/
When I looked out the window night had come.") to a darkness seen and felt ("The fairy-like scene turned haunted and dark/
For so completely you've become in my eyes/
I felt immediately almost blind without you") and further into a lighter, uplifting frame ("So in my reverie/  
The night turns enchanting... O yes most lovely") A very interesting progression of perception. I enjoyed.

~ Claire


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Marina
Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245
Pickering, Ontario
10 posted 2000-08-31 11:36 AM


WOW!  This is an amazing piece of writing!  WOW!  Did I mention I like it?  LOL  

Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley



Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
11 posted 2000-08-31 06:30 PM


Paula-

That you took the trouble to reply - and speak your thoughts - is a very sweet compliment in itself - Thank You  

Claire-

Bless You!!! - such a kind and deep perceptive analysis -I pray I always write well enough to deserve a reply from you  

Marina-

Replies like yours warm my heart - thank you somuch

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2000-08-31 10:16 PM


...in the twilight after love...

I think you have an admirer of your work, sitting here...

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
13 posted 2000-08-31 10:23 PM


Very well written piece and unique as your mood changes as the poem progresses, sorrow without her to the reverie that comes from remembering her, and imagining her with you.
This is just lovely
Liz

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
14 posted 2000-09-01 12:55 PM


Karilea -

well then it is a mutual admiration society    Thank you ~S~

Liz -

I think our feeling do undergo such transitions - don't they? Thank you  

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