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| Open Poetry #9 |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware 
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I sat long after - staring at the walls blankly Items in the room surrounded me When I looked out the window night had come. In the sky stars were flashing Like fireflies in tall grass And a full moon was rising on the horizon. I went out into the night My arm imagining the fullness of you The fairy-like scene turned haunted and dark For so completely you've become in my eyes I felt immediately almost blind without you My mind picturing only you You the path, the way, my purpose You a bright street light - on a dingy dark street Visions of your face looking back at me... In each store window, in each passing face... You've become engraved, inside me persevering In copies without number, Without drug my mind forms you ... My senses hold you in three dimensions. So in my reverie The night turns enchanting... O yes most lovely In the center of the city... the street lights dazzle The Moon shines brightly and those stars tiny fierce torches A bejeweled canopy over our heads You and I sleepy are together, wonderfully embracing As we are every time in the twilight after love |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
WOW this is superb. I love the way you throw yourself into this and the flow was mesmirizing indeed. Loved it. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
OOOOHHHHHHHHHH WIl...no words baby...just no words at all |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Ahhhhhhhhhh....I'm with Paula...this has left me speechless, and that's not an easy feat!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wilfred~ Most enjoyable. 'And a full moon was rising on the horizon. I went out into the night My arm imagining the fullness of you' Quite the image !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Mark - Paula - Sunny - Marge ~big smile~ - and most humble thanks |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is wonderful writing, Bill...I think one of my favorites of those I have seen...very stirring read. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Martie- I am so pleased - such words from you mean very much to me with my humble efforts |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Even tho I have read this over and over there are still no owrds that can express how it makes me feel... |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Bill, I found this to be an interesting piece, as you guided the reader through the teller's imagining time. The transition from an almost detached observation ("- staring at the walls blankly/ Items in the room surrounded me/ When I looked out the window night had come.") to a darkness seen and felt ("The fairy-like scene turned haunted and dark/ For so completely you've become in my eyes/ I felt immediately almost blind without you") and further into a lighter, uplifting frame ("So in my reverie/ The night turns enchanting... O yes most lovely") A very interesting progression of perception. I enjoyed. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
WOW! This is an amazing piece of writing! WOW! Did I mention I like it? LOL  Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Paula- That you took the trouble to reply - and speak your thoughts - is a very sweet compliment in itself - Thank You Claire- Bless You!!! - such a kind and deep perceptive analysis -I pray I always write well enough to deserve a reply from you  Marina- Replies like yours warm my heart - thank you somuch |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...in the twilight after love... I think you have an admirer of your work, sitting here... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Very well written piece and unique as your mood changes as the poem progresses, sorrow without her to the reverie that comes from remembering her, and imagining her with you. This is just lovely Liz |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Karilea - well then it is a mutual admiration society Thank you ~S~Liz - I think our feeling do undergo such transitions - don't they? Thank you |
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