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Open Poetry #9
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Except Me
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Except Me |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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I stand alone in silent observation as Music plays Children run Couples dance Everyone laughs Except me I walk alone in silent contemplation as Music mocks Children circle Couples hug Everyone smiles Except me I sit alone in silent tears as Music ends Children sleep Couples kiss Everyone leaves Except me Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Alienation from the world can cause such pain within...very sad words here, but written extremely well. I enjoyed this greatly.  *Krista Knutson* "You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." -Barbara DeAngelis |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
This words I know too well. You are a great poem. Thank you for sharing Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow..such powerfully sad emotion here sir. Wonderfully written. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Very wonderful but sad piece it. You have penned I well. |
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Tanga Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 39BC Canada |
Tears trickle down my cheeks as I watch Jamie's solitude of silence. Take my hand and dance with the devil in the moonlight. <**> |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Jamie... Never will you be the exception!! The words you write draw love to you like a magnet........just look........ Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
OOHh Jamie...I cant stand to see those brown eyes so sad. You have tears running down my cheeks with this one darlin |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks for the support and encouragement, as well as the kind words for the poem. jamie |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I do believe you have everyone crying...even me... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Jamie. I'm sure many can relate to the pain in this. Very well expressed! Denise |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Jamie, this is so sad and so beautifully written, brought tears to my eyes. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
You have mastered the sad emotions here... Oh, a Jamie wonder... Exquisite writing... regards, sudhir |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is perfect, you have captured this sadness and I really appreciated the way that it read out loud...thanks. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
I am sorry to have caused so many tears, though it does warm the heart. Thanks to everyone for caring. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Awwww need a hug?...{{hugs}} I know what it's like to feel alone... felt the words... ~~softly sighing Maureen |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
What strikes me most about this poem is the form in which it's written. The theme of isolation is clearly expressed, not only by the content (which is poignant and yes, sad) but also by the form you've chosen for this piece. What an insightful choice. I admire your skill, and understand fully the feelings within it. Take care ~ ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Jamie, I have so often felt this pain, and you expressed it perfectly. I like the form also, very much. Take care. catalinamoon |
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