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Open Poetry #9
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Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

0 posted 2000-08-24 09:29 PM


(rewrite of a 3/98 poem)

I want to take you in my arms,
Totally fold up all your charms
We should be dancing the night away.
In some small romantic cabaret
Or floating on some peaceful stream,
Where we can share our favorite scheme
I see you as a lovely dream,
A rare and captivating theme

You are dressed all in white,
Standing out in the night
Starlight shines bright in your eyes,
Diamonds give your hair disguise
The music pervades the velvet night air;
We sway to the tune without any care
The breeze carries the tune, soft in our ears;
Blowing and drying wet happy tears

It traces over us, cooling our skin,
Tune changes tempo, Beguine we begin
Recalling passion we felt at the start;
Strange how it changed to be felt in the heart
Our dreams then continue in mime,
You in your bed and I in mine
Parallel dreams that we have, o'er the miles;
Sustaining, maintaining, making our smiles

Thus our hearts are joining in flight,
Coursing with the moon in the night
Is it fair we're bound by commitments old?
Commitments made that our partners leave cold?
On a cool spring night, dream feeling washing
So lovely the theme, no heart for smashing
Content to find you, in my dream safe held
Loving to be there, my heart you've corralled




© Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved
Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
1 posted 2000-08-24 11:24 PM


absolutely amazed at this. so clever parallel dreams. Dreams feel so real.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2000-08-25 12:28 PM


Two heart thoughts
so entwined
can build a bridge
from dreams devine

Lovely romantic poem, Bill...

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2000-08-25 12:34 PM


This is even more lovely than when I read it the first time...What lovely thoughts you have penned
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
4 posted 2000-08-25 10:16 AM


Rosebud-

I was looking at the original (I was still a neophyte) - it was such a mess - but the idea still had value to me so I struggled to give it 'flow' - I'm glad you liked  

Martie -

There is absolutely nothing I like better than a poetic response   thank you so much

Paula- I'm glad you thought it worth a second reading. My humble thanks.  



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