»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #9
»
In My Delerium
| Open Poetry #9 |
|
In My Delerium |
|
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
|
Struggling back to normalcy exhausted by the effort of a smile forced with head in full pound and hands that mend when truly they desire the feel of your neck... and miles of smile, shiny white teeth but if they bite you you'll bleed... writing words that go unheard dripping down the screen through the broken sweat of fever--- in my delerium I thought them tears-- and I find that funny now... hallucinating, I thought I dreamed... and I yearn for measured herb, to wash the sickness from my face and see my eyes look back at me-- If I could scream this tremor from my voice, and clench the shaking from my fingers, and will my waking from this slumber you would have left me yesterday if all were just a wish away... like a fever lingered long, you should already have been gone. and I fight to live not live to fight to sing another song this day... if, this thing, I brought to life, then I can make it die. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Wow....I can relate...so many ways you can take this though...in terms of endearment I can realte.....i feel it is a lot of symbolism HUH? i like it!! Great work....  Julie :) |
||
|
ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Too many great lines to single out only one but this did stand out as really neat... "and hands that mend when truly they desire the feel of your neck..." Very tense piece!! -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
O Serene One this I felt to be quite delirious... to my half-baked head... metaphor inside metaphor inside metaphor... the more I search the more I find the more I find, the more I am lost... this is the perfect state to be for in total chaos lay perfection... nd there I go again rambling... (STOP this blabber, sudhir...a knock on the head...) I liked the central part a lot... ____________ through the broken sweat of fever--- in my delerium I thought them tears-- and I find that funny now... hallucinating, I thought I dreamed... ____________ overall, another great work... loved the symbolism of the last couplet too... what I make, I can destroy too... WOW regards, sudhir |
||
|
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
if, this thing, I brought to life, then I can make it die. mmmm hmmmm...... (shakes his head) well done Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Juli Ann--I thank you very dearly...your kindness does not go unnoticed...hugs. ladysixstring--I appreciate your comments, usually I like to write in lyric myself...I assume that you play? please e me, or I will e you soon...your work is very intriguing to me as well. Local Rebel--do I know you? LOL---I've still a fan club list somewhere from the good ole bad ole days....you're another that puzzles me, (but so much does these days) and Sudhir---oh my, you do not know what it means to me to feel so understood right now, was music to me ears, as the sound of a rushing waterfall...you got it my friend, you understood it, and for that I am intensely grateful...Hugs and smiles (without the bites) to you...you've become very dear to my heart... and now I think I'm off to faint, a thunderstorm is moving in---time to trim the wick of candles....much love to ya all. |
||
|
Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
sure you know me... I'm Local Rebel... LOL... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
