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Open Poetry #9
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Mark's challenge 3#. Sepia summer
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Mark's challenge 3#. Sepia summer |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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It was kind of obvious that I would pick number 3# Thanks for the challenge Mark, this one sort of flowed out, a bit surreal and wrote kind of quickly. I am still a bit dazed from lack of sleep so I can't tell if this is good or not. Anywhere here it is... ===================== "From within this magnolia tree, virgin white petals thrust out their purity, begging for a moment of sweltering disgrace, from caressing rays of warmth upon their face". In her floral dress she holds the sun inside her mouth, spitting out its euphoria to murmuring summer shout. Shadows move outlining her grace in alluring sepia shade, Her ice cream lips smile, in twilight her innocence may fade falling as continents plunging into the torrent teenage ocean, she held me, glitter stained, chalking mascara on my emotion. From within the depths of her dress, the wind hears the greed I must confess, to pillage rape and destroy, claim in agony. We are destined for love of misery. When I proclaim marriage, it is our suicide, in awkward fits I have etched her out in cyanide, she calls from every window, garden or the edge of sleep. Over my skin, under my eyes I feel her creep. When I kissed her we were born as one, a Siamese shackle, the end to youth has just begun. From within this sacred feeble creature, I love her by every glow and perfect feature, yet can not bear to hold her dear, She arouses every weak desire and cutting fear. I bleed alone, cold to dark, as the twilight descends, Maybe if betrayal was not my burden we could be friends. I laid her to rest beneath the judgement shadows of chapel gaze, ran fleeing her memory, promising to drink away all our days. Through the heavy currents of whiskey drown frame, she haunts with gentle comfort, my jealousy is to blame. < !signature--> "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 08-20-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
In her floral dress she holds the sun inside her mouth, spitting out its euphoria to murmuring summer shout. Shadows move outlining her grace in alluring sepia shade, ... she held me, glitter stained, chalking mascara on my emotion. .. When I proclaim marriage, it is our suicide, in awkward fits I have etched her out in cyanide, ... I laid her to rest beneath the judgement shadows of chapel gaze, ran fleeing her memory, promising to drink away all our days. Through the heavy currents of whiskey drown frame, she haunts with gentle comfort, my jealousy is to blame. .... WOW brian, your mastery over imagery was never in doubt, O poet... but now it has become synonymous with truth itself... the challenge was outdone... outperformed ... EXCELLENT.... regards, sudhir |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow...Brian...what a tremendous poem.! Bravo! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Brian....I dont know what to say except that you have taken the challenge to world class levels for sure. I am simply in awe at your talent and I am humbled to have you take a few very simple words of mine and turn them into such a Tremendous work of ART. Double gold for you kind sir...and I bow to your excellence.  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Shadows move outlining her grace in alluring sepia shade, Her ice cream lips smile, in twilight her innocence may fade falling as continents plunging into the torrent teenage ocean, she held me, glitter stained, chalking mascara on my emotion. From within the depths of her dress, the wind hears the greed I must confess, to pillage rape and destroy, claim in agony. We are destined for love of misery. When I proclaim marriage, it is our suicide, in awkward fits I have etched her out in cyanide, she calls from every window, garden or the edge of sleep. ======================== From within this sacred feeble creature, I love her by every glow and perfect feature, yet can not bear to hold her dear, She arouses every weak desire and cutting fear. I bleed alone, cold to dark, as the twilight descends, Maybe if betrayal was not my burden we could be friends. I laid her to rest beneath the judgement shadows of chapel gaze, ran fleeing her memory, promising to drink away all our days. Through the heavy currents of whiskey drown frame, she haunts with gentle comfort, my jealousy is to blame. ============================ when mark posted those choices... I remember thinking THAT verse would be your pick... I knew it would have the imagery you need.. and I knew you would take it to such heights... but DAMN...Bri-guy... this is SO AWESOME!! where does this imagery come from.. my goodness there is somethig in the water there in Ireland  supreme poetry Bri, truly later-magnolia-gator eve |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
bumping for the ceremony!!! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Brian,...you have once again fullfilled my mind's desire and 'need' for totally kickin' reading material. LOL. Seriously,...this one had something to it that completely wrapped itself around me. Very cool read. Very. Thank you 'O Talented Friend. *sigh*. *Peace. |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
You really did a fantastic job with this one!!! -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Sudhir, looking around...no other Brians in the room..lol, what can I say your words have me speechless..all I can say is thank you I am blushing from your compliments. Martie, thank you for your wonderful comments. Mark, thanks for your overly generous words, no I will just stand in the shadows instead of the spotlight. Thanks again. eve, I know how predictable I am..lol well it had the word petals in it so how could I resist. Thank you for your wonderful words and continous support. Mark, double thanks in fact my ego is bumping the poem up right now..lol SpitFire, I just hope that you manage to get unwrapped, I think the zipper is somewhere to unwrap you..LOL thank you.peace ladysixstring, thanks. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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