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Open Poetry #9
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Electric Love
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Electric Love |
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Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
I wrote this one night after going to a blue's club so when you read it, do so with a blue's-like cadence. (I unexpectedly ran into an old flame who I wanted to know what his feelings for me had been when we were together. I chickened out and still don't know, but I'm happily married now and don't need to know. Well, still curious.) Lot’s of people out there lonely For what they once had but lost When I remember how you made me feel, My heart just seems to stop Like a writer with an empty pen, A sealed letter that is never sent, A by-gone moment that won’t pass you by; No matter how it tries I’m not getting any younger, My heart not any stronger, My feelings any weaker- For you The days are getting longer I can hear the distant thunder You don’t know how I love you- It’s true Fate may bring us together God may keep us apart There’s no way of knowing, One way of knowing But, I’m afraid to find out... |
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| © Copyright 2000 Janie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Very good!!! I think I know the guy... he's still driving the Lays Potato Truck, has 4 kids, an x-wife and long curly hair on his back.. You're better off where you are.... LOLOL -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Well, Janie, a nice real-to-life poem... my advise would be KEEP OFF and let the thoughts die naturally... regards, sudhir |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Yeah that's good blues...coming right from the heart...great job Janie!! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
me, personally, I don't like not knowing things...but I can relate to this poem very well...as far as blues clubs, well, the only one I liked was in Memphis, a long time ago. |
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Brandyn Sand Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 82Columbia, SC |
Janie... You're right. Your thoughts here do mirror "Solitary." This is wonderfully penned. And I agree with Sudhir about the "keep off" thing. Although the not knowing does tend to eat at me a little in my case, I have no intention to seek out the answer. I eventually found my prince and methinks I'll keep him. I do feel sorry for those guys we wrote about, though, don't you?  |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Janie~ I liked the bluesy effect. Usually when lightning strikes ... the thunder rolls ... and rolls until it rolls away. Enjoyed this read. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janie Member
since 2000-08-13
Posts 158 |
Thanks to all for your comments (and advice) You're right, best to let by-gones be by-gones. I probably wouldn't like the truth any ways and my husband who I love very much wouldn't appreciate it either. As far as the image of the Lay's Potato Chip truck and the hair on his back, that's hilarious! Though, not him at all. The guy was Mister Personality who played minor league ball for the Cincinatti Reds farm team. (he had a really cute butt) I felt the worry of infidelity would be too much of an issue though. Janie |
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