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Open Poetry #9
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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

0 posted 2000-08-19 08:46 AM


and they danced

they danced
        so effortlessly
            so gracefully
and their fluid movement
made me swoon

they danced
        and you smiled
            caught my gaze
as i tried to turn away
tried to ignore

they danced
        magically
            softly
their rhythm striking
the song so familiar

and they danced
oh, how they danced
        those words
            off your silver tongue
but like the wallflowers
i went home alone


< !signature-->

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compaired to what lies within us.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson




[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 08-19-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
1 posted 2000-08-19 08:52 AM


Ruth - what a wonderful way you teased me with this poem - leading me on, guiding me to visualize a couple dancing close together, swaying in time, perfected choreography - and then sliding the image over to show me, instead, a single woman gently rebuffing an advance (or perhaps, many advances).  You are so clever that way - great writing, Ruth.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-19-2000).]

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-08-19 09:13 AM


What a beautiful twist your words took on in the conclusion Ruth ... just lovely!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
3 posted 2000-08-19 10:36 AM


Hi hoot_owl_rn,
Ahh, I have read another of your writings, and I need to read more. You have a graceful way of writing, and going home alone? Not the someone that I see in that photo!

ladysixstring
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374

4 posted 2000-08-19 10:44 AM


Oh how I love this line... "and they danced
oh, how they danced those words off your silver tongue"  but why... why... why... "but like the wallflowers i went home alone"  

This was very good.  I kept anticipating the what... who... was dancing?  "words"  how wonderful!!!



-jaimie
www.ladysixstring.com



Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
5 posted 2000-08-19 10:51 AM


um..hootie... you're supposed to go home with him...!!!  

well written....hope you're well

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
6 posted 2000-08-19 12:10 PM


Ruth as always everytime you post a poem is a joyous occasion. A beautifully written poem, a sad twist but I am sure you you will find your own dancing partner.  

"Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
7 posted 2000-08-19 12:18 PM


Ruth*
Bittersweet...those silver words have a way of turning to cold steel......You've penned it so well~

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
8 posted 2000-08-19 12:21 PM


Ruth,
another gem in the making, flowing perfectly... the sad twist just seemed to add to the lustre of the poem...

regards,
sudhir

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
9 posted 2000-08-19 12:29 PM


Sad, poignant, and true to life.  Not everyone gets the {fill in noun} at the end of the {fill in literary genre}.  Me likes.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-08-19 01:10 PM


Hoot~
I do like the way this one danced ...
wonderfully complete.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2000-08-19 01:15 PM


oh...I love this!!
very cool presentation Hoot-girl...
and I love the bittersweet emotions...
so well expressed thru the metaphors
so glad to see you posting again with us.
later-two-step-gator  
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
12 posted 2000-08-19 04:50 PM


Thank you everyone for the comments. This came to me on the way home from work this morning. I guess this poem is one that can be read several ways...some of you mentioned the sadness of her going home alone, but I myself see a very strong woman in this poem who's not foolish enough to fall for the lines. Although she is moved by his lines, and has to put herself in check a time or two, it's an old song and dance she's heard a thousand times over and she realizes it as just that.
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
13 posted 2000-08-19 05:24 PM


Either way its still a lovely dance with a twist
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

14 posted 2000-08-19 05:33 PM


Hi Ruth...yes, sometimes we must turn down the dance, depending upon the gentleman's intentions, and what a clever, artistic way of portraying just that. Wonderful writing, my friend.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
15 posted 2000-08-19 06:03 PM


This is great! A thought provoking poem full of imagery..I love it.  
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
16 posted 2000-08-19 06:07 PM


What a wonderful twist at the end.....your use of metaphors was superb and the welllll.....the ending was just one of pure excellence.  
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
17 posted 2000-08-19 06:08 PM


sometimes wallflowers are the best way to go
juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125
North Carolina
18 posted 2000-08-19 07:45 PM


Wow the ending took me by surprise. Loved it.
Juls

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

19 posted 2000-08-19 07:53 PM


and how they dance  

Really enjoyed this one HOOT

Regards,
Coco

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
20 posted 2000-08-19 08:02 PM


Hi Ruth--Nice to see you...I love to dance, but dancing with the wrong person can be a nightmare...better to keep your own company....  Like the way you portrayed this scene...excellent writing, of course!
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
21 posted 2000-08-19 08:10 PM


The master of metaphors, or is it mistress?
No, mistress doesn't sound right either.
How about  - the queen of metaphors, the words that dance so beautifully from your pen. I don't know how you pull this off. But it is fascinating
Liz

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
22 posted 2000-08-19 08:33 PM


Yes! Yes! Yes! You have to know I would love something like this. It's perfect!  
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
23 posted 2000-08-19 09:03 PM


Ruth I hope this isn't the state of affairs you're in now.?

I love the line...oh, how they danced
        those words
            off your silver tongue

Sometimes it's best to go home alone. Usually when we hear those lines, it's always best to go home alone! I loved this one!  HUGS

Knight Dreams
Junior Member
since 2000-08-16
Posts 46
Austin, Texas
24 posted 2000-08-19 09:21 PM


Graceful and beautiful Ruth.  You grow stronger every day
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
25 posted 2000-08-19 10:31 PM


Smiling here....thank you everyone for your comments...and no, this does not reflect my state of affairs at present, but I think it does posess some of my strength. It was just something that came to me and I had to go with it  
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

26 posted 2000-08-20 12:53 PM


Wonderful writing, Ruth! Love it!

Denise

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
27 posted 2000-08-21 11:37 AM


Thanks Denise  
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
28 posted 2000-08-21 02:19 PM


Lovely, Hoot!! *S*
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
29 posted 2000-08-21 04:20 PM


love it when the good ones dance back around so I can cut in to say

well done!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
30 posted 2000-08-23 08:43 PM


Thanks Sunshine and Suthern
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
31 posted 2000-08-24 09:55 AM


Oh my! I do like this! Funny, I don't quite swoon when watching others dance, but I sway.
Well written, love your style.

Debra

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