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Open Poetry #9
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tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA

0 posted 2000-08-18 10:41 PM


Searching

She held the ocean in her eyes
Her hair was red as the first sunrise
Lightened with yellow’s from the sun
A beauty; said everyone

Her scent was that of a fresh spring day
Intoxicating in a delightful way
Her hair blew softly against her skin
Brushed back by a chilling wind  

Curves were kind to her womanly shape
As  white lace clung tight at her tiny waist
She seemed to glide with every step
On legs no man could ever forget

Her voice was so tender: a gift from God
singing out to the ocean as it carried abroad
Reaching the villagers, they’d stop in place
And vision the sight of her lovely face

Every young man around the shore
Wanted her love forever more
And as each of them asked for her hand to wed
With a gentle smile she would shake her head

With her face blushed as the lilac trees
Her hand reached down to help them up off their knees
Her green eyes flashed with a tilt from her head
And she would kindly say: she could not wed

An old fisherman  talked to the heartbroken men
And told of a tale hard to comprehend
She is so beautiful, young and free
But she was long ago taken by the sea

And each time the old fisherman told of her past
The young men walked down an old beaten path
For miles and miles they journeyed on
It was the old cemetery they’d come upon

There she stood all alone
Her milky white skin,  was made of stone
The sun was a crest over her head
At her feet lay the ocean waves
And as they looked down towards the ground
Written in marble with gold letters raised
The shine of the print called them to gaze

She rides on the tides
in the glow of the moon
Life cut from this earth much to soon
Now she moves on the wings of doves
Searching the shores for love

© tori 2000


< !signature-->

If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm




[This message has been edited by tori (edited 08-19-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Victoria Hosier/tori - All Rights Reserved
ladysixstring
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374

1 posted 2000-08-18 11:17 PM


Your opening line pulled me in... "She held the ocean in her eyes" and you kept the momentum flowing beautifully.  Breathtaking.

-jaimie
www.ladysixstring.com



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-08-19 12:23 PM


Tori~
Oh what a lovely piece.
I was mesmerized by the intrigue of the woman.
VERY .. VERY well-told tale.
I'm most impressed with the imagery.
You've written a beautiful piece for sure.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
3 posted 2000-08-19 08:36 AM


Tori - great story-line development here - you sowed the desire to know of this woman, and then you brought in the poignancy at the perfect time, closing it all with a wonderful finish.  Great work, Tori - I thoroughly enjoy this poem.
tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
4 posted 2000-08-19 09:16 AM


Lady Thank you for the kind words I am pulled into the ocean myself. A fish at heart.lol

Marge~ thank you so much for the lovely complement; my husband always says I have a good imagination. But I’m not too sure if he means it as a complement? lol….J

LongJohn  Glad you stopped in for a read.. Thank you so much for the reply



If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2000-08-19 11:05 AM


Hi Tori,
I don't believe that I have been by your place before. I'm glad that I stopped by. What a beautifully written poem. I liked it very much.

tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
6 posted 2000-08-19 12:01 PM


Why thank you Bill.. glad you found your way...  )

If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
7 posted 2000-08-19 12:10 PM


Tori,

What a chilling story! This is so very well written. You've outdone yourself on this one.
It captures you from beginning to end.

Bravo!! I loved it, every entrancing line.

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA
8 posted 2000-08-20 07:53 AM


Tori; This is a fantastic poem. I was mesmerized from beginning to end. Please cocider entering this poem for the next book! ellie

Summers haunting melody
that awakens
the butterflies,
calling them to join
the dance
in their silent song
of praise to God.

eL

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
9 posted 2000-08-20 08:04 AM


Tori this is a wonderfully crafted poem...so well done...I thoroughly enjoyed the read!
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2000-08-20 09:13 AM


Smooth and poignant...James
English Rose
Member
since 2000-08-20
Posts 211
Berkshire, England
11 posted 2000-08-20 09:19 AM


Tori

This is a very mesmerizing tale with a beautiful flow to it!   Well done

tori
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
12 posted 2000-08-21 09:21 AM


Thank you for the all the kind words, everyone.. I'm really glad that you liked this one

If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
Vlh.
visit my site~ http://www.hsanet.net/user/dkm/hellomy.htm

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