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Open Poetry #9
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I hear my name called... (a poem in 2 minutes)
| Open Poetry #9 |
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I hear my name called... (a poem in 2 minutes) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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Hi all, this is nothing extravagant, had an idea and just wrote it down... approximately a year ago, someone had said something written in a short time is not good poetry... maybe yes, maybe not, but then is something scribbled for 20 years sure to be poetry... maybe yes, maybe not... I have no claims to any acclaim in this one... just wanted to put this upfront for your eyes... if you like it, you may remain quiet or say you like it, if not scream out loud and say you loathe it... I am game ...  ------- In the distance afar I hear a sound Calling my name Hearing my name I stood myself tall Waking from slumber Rising from slumber I lumbered my way Treading the path Charting the path Toward the sound Marking my course Stalking my course In a quickened pace Pacing my steps Racing my steps I make the run Gliding over grass Flowing over grass With a mystical cloud Flying with the wind Soaring in the wind I knock at the gate And I rest hearing I sleep hearing I hear a soundless call, The call of my name. ---- |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
This is fabulous... the style is exactly to my liking and the rhythm is to my own beat. The words... well... definately "Marking your course". If it is true... "something written in a short time is not good poetry" then I am proud to be among the "not good poets". -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Humbug to the naysayers...whatever you do and in whatever time it takes pleases us all! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I guess that makes me a poor poet too because when the words start flowing it sometimes only takes a minute or two to put pen to paper and create....this that you have written puts proof to that...great write Sudhir [This message has been edited by Paula Finn (edited 08-18-2000).] |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Sudhir :l Sounds like your asleep. You hear some one call your name encouraging you to awake. But you only turn over to go back to sleep to do it all again. Just my perception of your 2 minute peom. I wish I was as talented to write a poem in 2 minutes. Excellent work. Garfield |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Sudhir....Sudhir.....Sudhir..... can you also hear the applause? And I am so sick of the Somebody's in the world, hell, I'm even sick of my own opinion...but if you want the opinion of a nobody, I thought it was terrific!!! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I vote yeah.... I can't write a poem in two hours - never mind two minutes....  |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
2 minutes with a lifetime of thought. Your 2 minutes expounds well above what takes me 2 minutes and 2 seconds to accomplish.lol. I yearn for the day when I can throw one down that quick and make it as wonderful as you have. well done my friend. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This is great, I love the style. It's a great poem in my opinion. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
oops, hehe  [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 08-18-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WOW, you guys are real great... these words are like resounding pat on my back... thanks for the coviction shown.. jaimie, thanks for coming in and I am glad that this fits in your scheme of things the rhythms etc... Karilea, your divine rays have graced me... thanks paula, thanks for your kind words garfield, your perception is excellent... a nice way to look at it... if you may you might as well look at it as a spirit that flies to heaven... and finds a restful peace... that's yet another outlook, is it not? thanks a bunch for sharing your view on this, makes this one special for me... O serene one, I can hear you, and hear you all and you are definitely not a nobody and I can give a hundred reasons for that... Thanks for reading and the terrific response... Nancy, thanks a huge deal... for you kind words... Mark, maybe the extra 2 seconds was just to open the page and type "lol" tee hee  Thanks, my friend for your never-failing words of praise and support...regards to one and all, sudhir. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Oh Lakewalker, you just came by and I did not even wish you a greeting...sorry for that... thanks so much...  regards, sudhir |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Sudhir, sometimes poems just flow out. there are sometimes when we are graced and the words flow out perfectly formed other times we have to struggle. Does it make one method better than the other, one poem better because it took longer to write. I think No, and I believe you have just proved me correct. Sudhir, the time it takes for you to write a poem is not relevant, your poems are timeless gems. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
I think this is wonderful! It flows so smoothly. It is one of those poems that is so enjoyable to read aloud. Great piece. --You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.-- |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Sudhir my friend, I really don't think that you could write a bad poem even if you tried. You have many talents, and it show in your writings. |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Sudhir, What an incredibly romantic, and dreamlike poem. I was transported to a place where I saw you stand tall and walk, then run to the still quiet voice. I enjoyed this immensely and I liked the way each part joined smoothly to the next, floating the reader along to the next stage. WONDERFUL wONDERfUL W o N d E r F u l Linda M. |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Sudhir, I'm new to this and I hope I did not insult you with my perception of your poem. I'm not sure, but I believe that Serenity thinks I did. If so, I'm truly sorry. And yes, "A spirit that flies to heaven... And finds a restful peace" is another outlook. I wish I had seen it in this way. Garfield |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
For a two minute poem, it beats anything I have ever written. I find this poem terrific, I really do! Sauni Sauni :) Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful Sudhir! I loved the repetition of your final line to the next ... 2 minutes or 2 hours ... this is excellent! Mentioning the timeframe has only deepened my respect for your talent! Best wishes, /Kit (PS...this may be an interesting Alley thread topic to ask others about?) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WOW what a start to a saturday evening... Thanks a lot friends... brian, exactly... some times call for inspiration where words just drop out faster than one can gather, while at others one has to wait and think deep on a subject or many subjects... that is what I believe in... anyway, thansk for the conviction in me... Tennessee Angel, 'flows smoothly' thats a huge compliment that I woould hold dear to me... thank you... Bill, that's called praise... Ohh, thanks a lot... Linda, transported... well better come back and continue to write your brilliant poetry... Thanks  garfield, check your e-mail... and no I was not at all disturbed ... in fact I loved your perception... so realistic... thanks... Sauni, the 2 minute was not meant to tell anyone, whose work is better etc... only that I felt quite puzzled by that vehemently made statement... Thanks a great deal for your compliments... Kit, I humbly take a bow to the highest accolades accorded... thanks... and about the alley.. I am sure this topic has already come up once or even more... My regards to all, sudhir... |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Sudhir, I ditto all of the above comments and add a BRAVO to my own!!! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
great style....I sometimes do poetry wars online with chat friends. We give each other a subject and anywhere between 2-5 minutes to write a complete poem about that.....it's a lot of fun although I can't say some of my better stuff results from it. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Sunny, and I bow to graciously and humbly accept your words... very honoured I feel... thanks Ruth, thanks for coming by... one can write a good one in a few minutes... and this is because there is so much natural flow to it that it feels so good... However for some poems, which has more depth and surrealism attached and lots of value in the undertones and styles etc... it takes a lot of effort to come up with... My point was only to highlight that one cannot discredit the work of a writer simply because it was scratched in a couple of minutes... nothing personal... me and my warring friend are quite close and underzstand each other's points well... and I thank you all for the support I received here... regards, sudhir |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Sudhir this has such great rhythum and style and it's easy to jump into the flow as you read.....very well done my friend! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thank You ethome, its great to hear from you, my friend... regards, sudhir |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Sudhir~ Lots of joyous moments only take seconds ... Often the flow of poetry surges at a rapid pace - gracing us with a beauty. Sometimes it trickles ... gracing us with a beauty. When the spigot is on we'd best catch the flow ! The important thing is that this is as fine a piece as if you'd worked on it for oh, say eight minutes ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Now you have taken me for a complete ride and I loved each bit of it... thanks for everything, Marge... regards, sudhir |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
I like this, I like the style of the verses, and the feeling of joining the author on a journey..... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I am thrilled that you liked this, Corazon... Thanks regards, sudhir |
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