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Open Poetry #9
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Brandyn Sand
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 82
Columbia, SC

0 posted 2000-08-17 06:48 AM


Your touch became the silver rays
That crawled across my skin.
In darkness, clad in moonlight bliss,
I felt your “work” begin.

Your voice became the stylus,
My essence - your canvas white.
And your words became the medium
You worked with through the night.

Each “brush stroke” carried tenderness,
Warm hues of passion’s flame.
And your masterpiece breathed with desire
Before you signed your name.

With the dawn your portrayal had vanished,
Yet in my mind remains ever whole;
For your love was the vivid image
You had painted upon my soul.


© Brandyn Sand



© Copyright 2000 Brandyn Sand - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-08-17 06:51 AM


Quite a masterpiece, indeed!!

Nice work here... really nice...

My regards,
sudhir

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-08-17 07:09 AM


Brandyn~
So nice to see you in here !
What a LOVELY work you have painted.

Reminded me of watching an artist uncover
a new work of art ....

Very pleasing.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
3 posted 2000-08-18 08:03 PM


A portrait of a dream perhaps?
This flows so perfectly and speaks in volumes!
Excelent Post Brandyn...


~Sheri

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
4 posted 2000-08-19 08:34 AM


Hi Brandyn Sand,

This is just lovely , and even though you didn't know it you imparted some mighty wonderful wisdom in this poetry for me through your words and I want to thank very much, very beautiful indeed.

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)


Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
5 posted 2000-08-19 08:51 AM


Beautiful verse and the title goes not only as a title but it is my word to you for the poem itself.......a MASTERPIECE.  Very much so and a lovely one at that.  

[This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 08-19-2000).]

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
6 posted 2000-08-19 09:06 AM


Brandyn - WHOA!  This is wonderful!  What a great poem!  I love the flow, and the metaphor.  You've inspired me to work harder at writing, and to see things from different points of view.  Thank you for that gift.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2000-08-19 09:08 AM


Sigh ... just lovely Brandyn! What a wonderful portrait you have painted with these delicate words ... beautiful!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Brandyn Sand
Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 82
Columbia, SC
8 posted 2000-08-19 09:11 AM


Thank you all so very, very, much for your encouraging comments.  I have since switched out the first two stanzas with the second two, as someone told me they didn't get the "silver rays" referring to the moon until the third verse.  Makes better sense to me, too, after it was brought to my attn.


Thanx again!

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
9 posted 2000-08-19 09:17 AM


Breathtakingly beautiful, every line was a masterpiece alone...added with the feeling that the poem flowed with.....Amazing.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

10 posted 2000-08-19 10:30 AM


Beauty in verse...thank you.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


ladysixstring
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374

11 posted 2000-08-19 10:53 AM


Absolutely lovely... what a refreshing view point.  Especially... "My essence - your canvas white. And your words became the medium".

-jaimie
www.ladysixstring.com



Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
12 posted 2000-08-19 12:02 PM


This is quite beautiful and sensual!

Corinne

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2000-08-19 01:10 PM


Your touch became the silver rays
That crawled across my skin.
In darkness, clad in moonlight bliss,
I felt your “work” begin.

Your voice became the stylus,
My essence - your canvas white.
And your words became the medium
You worked with through the night.
========================
OH MY...this is exquisite Brandon...
absolutley enchanting...
the imagery laced with sensual grace is perfection
the rhyme and flow are like sweet cream butter...
this is poetry in motion ...
take a bow for this one poet!!!
simply superb.
take care
jm

*thank you to Marge for making sure I didnt miss this jewel.
its going in my library file.



There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2000-08-19 09:46 PM


Brandyn--Very beautifully done...perfect rhythm and such a sensual feel...
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
15 posted 2000-08-19 10:05 PM


This is really lovely! Nice to read you again!  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2000-08-21 09:03 AM


A wonderful friend of mine forwarded this to me - as apparently I had missed it the first time around and she knew I had to see the beauty of this exquisite "Masterpiece."

If I've not done so before, a hearty Welcome to Passions ~ I can see that many of us will be looking forward to your next works of art!

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