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Epitaph
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Epitaph |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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*This is another translation that I'm working on. This is a poem of a russian poet, Bunin. I'm pretty much satisfied with it, only the meter is not that great throughout the poem, can you guys offer any advice on how to make it sound better without changing the content? As a lady, as a bride I passed away He told me my allure was gleaming Of love, in frenzy I was only dreaming With brief delight I would survive the day. On April day I simply walked away I left forever, passive and not grieving But there was still a reason in my living: I, for his love have never passed away Here, in the silence of the graveyard lanes, Where only wind blows half in slumber, All speaks of joy and spring with wonder. Love’s sonnet on a tomb remains And sings of me in deathless somber,-- And bluish skies are shining down the lanes. [This message has been edited by Master (edited 08-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
I enjoyed it and since I don't know where it was translated from I think you did a wonderful job..the last verse first line ...does that belong to the above verse.. other than that..it should stand if it translates well to you..I like the rhyme scheme you used...and it's message is clear... ~~soft smiles Maureen *btw I am no critic ... I just know what I enjoy |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you for your kind comments Maureen, I'm glad you liked it! |
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