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Open Poetry #9
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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2000-08-16 04:19 AM


As I tiptoed down to your room
with faster beating heart
"Do you want me?"fear in bloom
and could our love now start?

I knocked trepidly, could you hear
or did you ignore my plea
no respose, so tried again
and silence still met me.

I cried softly back to my room
this was not meant to be
under my door amidst the gloom
light shone, you wait for me.

Palms of sweat and eyes of tears
anxieties were met
you held me close, easing our fears
this is the best love yet.



"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

© Copyright 2000 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2000-08-16 08:50 AM


Nicely done! I could feel your anxiety.  
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
2 posted 2000-08-16 09:37 AM


oooohhh yes, the best love yet.  Your heart pounding and the deep breathing and the sigh as you started back.  All heard loud and clear and the tender elation as you saw the light under the door.  What a simply lovely verse you have turned.  In my file along it goes and you have truely earned another gold.

Thank you so much for making me smile amongst my joyous tears.

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
3 posted 2000-08-16 06:49 PM


Hi Kethry,

Wow this was wonderful I loved the ending most of all, thanks for sharing.

Love, Cerenity


"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)


Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-08-16 07:43 PM


Very good Kethry, so many thoughts here wrapped up in the fears , of not knowing how one will respond
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

5 posted 2000-08-16 07:59 PM


~Kethry,...wOw powerfully packed with emotion. This breathed feeling. Excellent writing here. Take care. *Peace.
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #9 » Palms of Sweat (Mark's challenge) - Tryst

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