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Open Poetry #9
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-08-14 03:11 PM


I've learned life the harsh way--
Reclining-- my feet on the table,
There were sparks in the ashtray
But I just wasn't able
To warm up the others
Though I loved them with ardor
All men were my brothers
But sometimes I would start to
Doubt my purpose
"What if I wasn't much like Him?"
That alone made me nervous
The thought was so frightening
I planned my own crucifixion
But ended up with a graveyard
I was seeking affliction
And becoming afraid that
I would find just pleasure
The world's so unjust!
And under this pressure,
I was turning to dust.
Love made me vomit, from friendships I suffered
And I knew no escape
Like a lost moth I hovered
I had no definite shape-
No identity, I existed only
In the mirror of sadness and grieving
And when I couldn't get any more lonely
I started living...



Check out my poetry here:


http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet


© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2000-08-14 05:08 PM



Master....
           There are some powerful thoughts
         here!! I like the line where love
         makes you vomit, because there is
         a whole lot of truth to that.....
           Good to see that you did start
           to live in the end!!

                  Enjoyed the write!!


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
2 posted 2000-08-14 07:59 PM


Thank you Sunny, I'm glad you liked it!

Check out my poetry here:


http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

3 posted 2000-08-15 10:07 PM


I enjoyed this piece, and especially admired its imaginative rhythm and rhyme scheme.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
4 posted 2000-08-16 12:21 PM


Thanks Claire, I got the rhyme scheme and meter from reading poetry of J. Brodsky, it's pretty fun to play around with...
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
5 posted 2000-08-16 12:51 PM


Wow, Master! You're poetry has certainly caught my attention and from the looks of it..you're a very talented poet in your own right. This piece is very powerful and sad.
Great piece and thanks for sharing.

Nathan

Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
6 posted 2000-08-16 02:01 PM


Nate Dogg, Thank you for your kind response... I'm glad you liked my poetry and again thank you for responding!
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2000-08-16 09:18 PM


Most of us learn the same way, Master. Great writing!

Denise

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-08-16 09:22 PM


Oh Master, do I like this....the ending lines got to me, most especially....my theme song for the night...I thank you...
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