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Open Poetry #9
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Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri

0 posted 2000-08-14 01:34 AM


When this pen becomes
   a prison
When these words
   no pleasure bring
Thats when this soul
   lies empty
Thats when deaths
   warm welcome rings.

When this heart is
   no longer able
To see the unicorns
   frisk on high
Or feel the shimmer
   of soft water
Or see butterflies
   stain glass the sky.

Thats when this voice
   will falter
Thats when sweet words
   will cease
And passions place
   will fade away
As this poets soul
   seeks peace.

Nevermore to make
   you wonder
Nevermore to make
   you smile
With laughing words and
   silvered teardrops
That you've looked
   for all the while.

So I'll take your
   memories with me
A little tarnished but
   precious still
As silence fades my
   thoughts from memory
And fades my life
   from broken quill

© Copyright 2000 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
1 posted 2000-08-14 01:37 AM


woah the title got me in and the read was stupid n duss no no stupendous!! love it i do
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-08-14 01:52 AM


When this heart is
   no longer able
To see the unicorns
   frisk on high
Or feel the shimmer
   of soft water
Or see butterflies
   stain glass the sky.

Thats when this voice
   will falter
Thats when sweet words
   will cease
And passions place
   will fade away
As this poets soul
   seeks peace.

Nevermore to make
   you wonder
Nevermore to make
   you smile
With laughing words and
   silvered teardrops
That you've looked
   for all the while.

So I'll take your
   memories with me
A little tarnished but
   precious still
As silence fades my
   thoughts from memory
And fades my life
   from broken quill
============================
Paula
this is outstanding work...truely
easily your best poem to date...
very cool poem here...
"Poe"-ish and a touch of "Shakes"
that "butterfly stain glass sky" line is pure poetry
and your rhyme is perfect..
very well written indeed.
take care
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
3 posted 2000-08-14 02:49 AM


When this readers screen shows nothing with paula by
I shall be saddened and may just start to cry

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
4 posted 2000-08-14 03:50 AM


It would seem that my first reply has disappeared into cyberspace again. Great work Paula!
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
5 posted 2000-08-14 07:33 AM


Paula.....

     This is a beautiful piece of poetry.
     I hope and pray that you never take
     your thoughts and words from us here.
               We need you!!


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2000-08-14 08:21 AM


Paula~

A neat render.

Old poets never die ...
they just go into cardiambic arrest !
And they just keep on pentametering along !

Oh ... there's lots more where those came from !
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2000-08-14 10:26 AM


Walt...glad the title brought you in...stupid n duss??? thanks dude.

JM...you honor me kind lady

Jamie...your sweet reply has tears running down my cheeks

EagleOne...first last anywhere in between your words are always a gift to me...thank you

Sunny1...you never know what tomorrow brings...so who can promise they will always be here? but for now this is where I want to be.

Marge...LMAO...keep em coming girl...thanks

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 2000-08-14 11:17 AM


Paula...I really enjoyed this one  
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
9 posted 2000-08-14 11:10 PM


hoot_owl_rn...thank you
cathybohannan
Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 140
Paintsville,KY
10 posted 2000-08-14 11:24 PM


Paula, what a lovely heart felt poem, you
have a great talent.

Cathy Marie Bohannan

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
11 posted 2000-08-14 11:29 PM


When this heart is
   no longer able
To see the unicorns
   frisk on high
Or feel the shimmer
   of soft water
Or see butterflies
   stain glass the sky.

      --------------

Wonderful imagery Paula.  Just keep them
coming.  

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
12 posted 2000-08-15 01:56 AM


Cathy...thank you for the lovely compliment

Eloise...your praise means a lot to me thank you.

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
13 posted 2000-08-15 09:34 AM


Great piece you've written here Paula. Your words were exactly on point too. You know, I have a poem very similiar to this and it's called The death of a poet's pen and it's about me being no longer able to write poetry...it's sad and powerful at the same time and it's also one of my best poems too.
Anyways, thanks for sharing this masterpiece!

Nathan

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

14 posted 2000-08-15 12:48 PM


wow no kidding......stupendous is right...I am sitting here reading a boring IT plan, and I have left this up on the screen to go back to and reread......just cause it is such a wonderful escape of the mind....great writing....you speak for more of us poets here than you know  
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
15 posted 2000-08-15 12:51 PM


By far your best yet.  You are growing in your poetry well.
ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

16 posted 2000-08-15 06:08 PM


triumphant piece, Paula ... a piece for all poets ... well said and simply one of your best
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
17 posted 2000-08-16 02:08 AM


Nathan...I would love to read your poem sometime...and thanks...masterpiece? I'm not sure I would go that far LOL

Corazon...well I only try to speak for myself but its nice to know my thoughts echo others...thank you for reading

Mark...well you know I only believe in going forward LOL...you learn you grow...thanks for stopping by

LOL and MARK...this one really took me by the heart...wouldnt let go till it was complete...so it is a triumph...and I'm glad you think it one of my best

jfilius
Junior Member
since 2000-08-14
Posts 29

18 posted 2000-08-16 03:42 AM


May your pen never become your prison!
You have captured it and control it so well!
This one I would expect to see on one of those beutiful stained glass plaques in a frame at a fancy gift store! This is realy great work!
                              John



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
19 posted 2000-08-16 09:13 AM


Loved this poem. It's crescendo's sent me soaring and the imagery left me breathless.
Bravo! Well done.
Be well
Kethry

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
20 posted 2000-08-16 11:30 AM


Paula* Seems that my quick stops in and out of Passions has caused me to miss this gem...excellent work....stunning images and heartfelt message...Bravo!!
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
21 posted 2000-08-16 11:38 AM


I'm slow getting here - but not too late -
I MUST add my compliments - on a poetic masterpiece Paula - you've outdone yourself -
I'm proud to be allowed to post with you.



BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
22 posted 2000-08-16 11:44 AM


Oh my Paula a simply outstanding piece of work, beautiful through and through.  Bonnie
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
23 posted 2000-08-16 12:14 PM


Paula,
This is definitely one of your best works yet... really fantastic...

regards,
sudhir

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
24 posted 2000-08-16 12:57 PM


John...what a lovely compliment thank you

Kethry...Glad I could set you flying thanks

Holly...I am so glad you found me...I treasure your words and your thoughts...thank you

Wil...The honor is mine sir...and slow is NOT a bad thing LOL

Bonnie...I thank you kind lady for your sweet words

Sudhir...as always it is a pleasure and an honor to have you read my words   thank you


Auguste
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
25 posted 2000-08-16 01:24 PM


Paula,

This is incredible...very beautiful.  I hope your words will always be here at Passions to warm us all.

Mchael





Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
26 posted 2000-08-16 10:28 PM


Michael thank you so very much
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