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Open Poetry #9
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At First Light ... ( Tanka )
| Open Poetry #9 |
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At First Light ... ( Tanka ) |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA 
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At First *Light* ... ( Tanka ) Morning light shining loving words appearing to me Tantalising, teasing drawing me into the warmth repeatedly awaiting me ... Anticipating strong hands gently touching me Shoulders tense, tight, hard Caressing, leaning forward kissing, soft'ning, easing pain. Maureen 2*99 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Maureen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Maureen...you are absolutely incredible! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Maureen you are describing a wealth of feelings here in a few short lines..... tremendous impact on the reader! |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Bill..it's a Tanka and when I found my first helpful, teaching, challenging, poetry site...that first month, I tried to learn every form of poetry...spent 18 hrs a day on here with poets from all over the world..spent $200 on a thesaurus, dictionary, rhyming dictionary and an anthology of poetry book to study and learn and try ever thing I could get my hands and mind on..I had a thirst for learning and a hunger for poetry...and was a good student to boot..this is one of my first poems..I only started on forums in Jan *99...but I had and still have tremendous emotions inside me which I never knew existed...so I thank you for saying such kind words..but anyone can learn if they want to...(and I do have my own style..but enjoy trying new ones too) {{hugs}} Maureen |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
A pain in my eye a slit of light invading i just want to sleep some of us who sleep alone are not morning people anymore---rofl...sorry for the interruption.... great tanka btw maureen.. your poems never disappoint |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
E. thank you for such kind thoughts and support always ~~soft smiles MM |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Prometheus A pain in my eye a slit of light invading i just want to sleep Making me wonder What I did, to deserve this Weird response by you..... you are certainly funny..here it is 3 a.m. and you are talking tired...... will you hold my eyes up in 4 hours with toothpicks for me....just the thought gives me  A pain in my eye ~~softly you know what MM |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
i will have to take a lesson from you and have a look around and see if i can learn some new styles such as tanka.....i agree with ethome, so few lines but big impact!! i have sooo much to learn! *smile* ~Dawn whatcha doing in this darkness baby when you know love will set you free? will you stay in the sea forever Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Didn't I send you that link Dawn of poetry "learnin'"..right now there is a kyrielle challenge, but I am too tired to think repeating patterns at the moment... will have one at the end of the day although I can show you one I did a while back here Behind Night's Curtain (Kyrielle) I feel a presence, soft and warm When all around me, seems to form A shadow, mainly of a face Behind night's curtain, made of lace. My eyes can see the outline clear Of sweet, wet lips that kiss me here And there and every other place Behind night's curtain, made of lace. The touch, the feel is so devine If only I could make him mine Forever Me, his fingers trace Behind night's curtain, made of lace. M 5*23*99 |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
sensual and lovely tanka Moon, the unique thing about these and senyru and Haiku is they allow the poet to capture a moment and define it with only a few well chosen words... its what makes them special...impact and yours have that for sure. take care jm There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Janet Marie thank you..sometimes they say less is more ~~soft smiles Maureen [This message has been edited by MMoonchild (edited 08-15-2000).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Very lovely Maureen ... sweet, tender, anticipatory ... beautifully penned!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Maureen you must be an excellent student, I tried different styles but I seem to keep coming back to my own as you mentioned earlier. However, when I get into books on poetry with rhyme and meter schemes being explained, I get lost in the spaces between the heart and the academic application. Like the golfer that has played his own self taught method for twenty years, then decides to take lessons from a pro, his game goes downhill and he adds several strokes to his previous score. I obviously don't have the patience that you do, but I am going to try to expand by writing different styles. I am commenting again because I enjoyed your reply to Bill |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
almost as beautiful as the poet who penned it ... well done ... |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Kit thank you..I think it is fun to try the different styles and patterns of poetry including free form ~~soft smiles Maureen |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
ethome you can reply to me three times and I would never turn down reading you ~~soft hugs Maureen |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
MA Miller ...oh...did someone else pen this?...... thank you, very much ~~soft smiles Maureen |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Beautiful, sensual and very tender |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
hoot_owl_rn thank you... over 8000 posts you have? WOW ~~softly thinking Maureen |
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