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Open Poetry #9
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Exercise One
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Exercise One |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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All these young men crouch down to prove their worth, crawling through carrion mists of madness and rivers of dirt. They carry their tags, their medals of loyalty, fear and burning ambition to destroy savage conflicting ideals, targeting hospitals with live ammunition. All these young men biting upon sand, tortured in depths of jungle's insanity, in foreign terrain and new command, each bullet shreds away at humanity. They carry body bags and execution time, flexing the muscles of their countries politics. Dictated to these sacrificed men in the front line, is only black victor propaganda and suicidal tactics. All these young men suffer in hell, born empty in mortar blast from boot camp to grunt to coffin, move like ghosts, killers travel fast. Out here there is no resolve, but a means to an end, as the sun crashes down in napalm dissolve eradicated the ashes of Exercise one. -------------------------- "Turn down your pulse, Turn away from it all, It's all getting too much". Joy Division- Exercise one "They carried pictures of their wives, And number tags to prove their lies," Joy Division - Walked in line. "KILL KILL KILL" The Doors-the End. < !signature--> "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 08-13-2000).] |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
this seems to be military day in 9...for anyone who waits behind the fears of loved ones never returning is unimaginable...and what we ask these young men to do...is it any wonder they come back scarred in the mind as well as the body? |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
War is such senselessness, isn't it. Solves nothing. I'm for sending the so called "leaders" that declare it to the battle field and let the rest sit back and plan their (the leaders) deaths. Well written Brian. jwesley |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
From growing up in the military I have seen way more than I wished I had. The pains and the dedication of these women and men are enormous and there is never any winner in such conflicts....only more losses that can never be afforded. I for one will forever be thankful to them all and their families and yet I will also continue for the cease of it's neccessity. Wonderful write. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Paula, yes I noticed there was a few poems about war today. The old "war is hell" message is a well used cliche, not taking from the people who write poems on the subject. My excuse is that I recently watched the film "Platoon" and it is still fresh in my mind also I have been listening to Joy Division alot altely and one of their songs "Walked in line" is about war. While believe that murder is wrong even if it is the name of your country, yes you have to admire the men and women who risk their lives. In an ideal world we would not have the complusion to fight but this is not a ideal world. Thanks for your comments. jwesley, yes the arrogance of politics has caused many wars and the leaders sit safetly in the back lines while their soliders meet their deaths. Thanks for your wonderful comments. Mark, I guess it a pretentious poem coming from someone,myself, who has never served their country. It is so easy to hop upon the war is hell bandwagon without thinking about the people who risk their lives in conflicts to safeguard our countries. I think you have said it best ".I for one will forever be thankful to them all and their families and yet I will also continue for the cease of it's neccessity" Thank your for your thoughts and wonderful reply. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Painful to read, but war is something that we must keep on the front burner, lest we forget the horrors of it. Thanks for the reminder, Brian. Corinne |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
Being a military wife for a few years i began to feel like a hypocrite......I do not believe in the most of the causes fought for by our men........and all of the scared young men newwly enlisted they are always first sent because THEY have the least invested in them.....so much politics behind what you write......and all in the name of freedom....if you beleive that....do you think if a civilians freedom was all that was on the line so many wars would be waged....I do not know.....just a question....any way before I get too deep in this reply I loved your poem......I felt every word.....great writing!!!  Julie :) |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Brian, such angst from someone so young! I am a military wife, with a daughter who also served. Yes, they carry their own kind of war even after leaving and yes, it's hell. Without it, though, we wouldn't be free to sit in our homes and write the poetry we all read on this website or any other. We wouldn't be free to fly the American flag and go to our counseling sessions and get prozac to help us cope. Those of us who also fight our own kind of hell. Some are trained, some are not trained, those who are at least have a fighting chance. God help them tend to their nightmares and heal their broken hearts. God help those who cannot express themselves in prose or any other means, for all they have are pictures and night sweats to remind them of the horror they endured. This poem gives a picture of hell. It's real, it's there and it needs to be addressed. But there has to be dignity also, and we must know that it is not in vain, the hell they endured. For if it was, then we should all be ashamed of ourselves. I say they are brave, honorable and deserve to be praised for their duty. Kathleen |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
do you see the emotion your words evoke ... you dont have to have lived it to feel it... as the depth and detail of this poem prove. excellent Bri-angst-gator  I will be in touch soon,promise evegator |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Corinne, I agree, war is a terrible thing everyday there is a conflict somewhere in the world. Thanks for your wonderful comments. JulieAnn, war seems like a means to an end. Not a very good one, I am aware of my countries violent history. That many died so that our country could be free of English rule and that war is still been raged though mainly by criminals and not in the name of politics. I think in an ideal world people could sit down at tables and talk these things out and come to a compromise. Wars may end disputes but it is only by crushing your enemy into the ground. In the end it solves nothing but given our society and our nature we rely upon armies and police. We fight violence and hate with violent and hate. Thanks for your thoughts and for your wonderful reply. Kathleen, I agree that the soldiers should be praised for their courage and bravely. It is of course twofold. I am not attacking the soldiers but rather the politics of war that allows so many young men to die, they are treated as a commodity. Thanks for your thoughts and for your wonderful reply. Jan, Thanks, it is all I could ever ask for to know that my words have evoked emotions. That is treasure to a poet. Thanks again for your support. I look forward to hearing from you, Thanks again Eve. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It was Napoleon who said "I have discovered the greatest secret in the world...men will die for bits of colored ribbons." It's all so senseless.... |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Brian* Such power and pain....You writing is always powerful and gives me reason to pause and think for a moment on the message that you have sent from your pen...you have done it again...Awesome work Brian.....simply Awesome! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
brian--your writing is always so powerful and thoughtful...I couldn't have said my feelings better then JM..I don't believe in war, but I do believe in defending...go figure. Peace to you, my friend. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WOW Brian, very powerful and hitting the nail right on the head... Wars have been fought for nothing for so long... pride and riches at the expense of "enpendable" lives - that's what war is all about... The "I" factor of men has lead on to several wars and will still do so for this is the achille's heel of mankind... the "I" factor... very well written work, here.. Sudhir |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Brian, this is an excellent read on a very painful subject. Your pen has captitured it perfectly. Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Real hornet's nest of a subject. I agree with Balladeer it all seems so senseless.....it would be wonderful if all could live like the lyrics of John Lennon's 'Imagine' suggested.. however, it seems we have to keep beating up on one another.....this is an excellent write Brian! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Balladeer, it seems like an ironic quote coming from someone famed for their military skill. thanks for reading. BDC, thank you, all I can say in response is that those words mean alot to me. Thank you. Martie, I agree. I believe in defending one's beliefs and territory if they are under attack but not in attacking someone else's beliefs because you find they threatening. Thanks for your wonderful reply. Sudhir, thank you as always for offering your thoughts and your comments. Marina, thank you. ethome, maybe a Utopia will be built by mankind, maybe not in our lifetime, but someday when man puts down his weapons and embraces his enemy as his brother. Thank you for your wonderful comments. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
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