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Open Poetry #9
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Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2000-08-11 10:29 AM


Looking back
remembering looking
forward
to being very forward
back then

when
pausing kisses
better
than last
was first
next to lasting

forever til
parting
lips to look forward

to the next Back
then

when
everything was
moving in fast
forward and
more good days
lay
ahead

they say
and you know
about they
they are
the ones that say
because they always say
about

pausing

the best is
yet
but

we know
looking back
what best
is
when
it was

unwinding



Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran

© Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-08-11 10:32 AM


.
.
pausing

the best is
yet
but

we know
looking back
what best
is
when
it was

unwinding
.
.

WOW, such an incredible flow....
muchly enjoyed this write...

regards,
sudhir

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
2 posted 2000-08-11 10:53 AM


Hawk-man - this is really really a great read - you post some of the most complex poetry - its always a pleasure reading your work.
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
3 posted 2000-08-11 10:56 AM


back and forth and back and forth... i like this.... it's moving! hehe *wink*
don't know if i'm coming or going...  

seriously though, really... LOL... silly mood over here... this one makes me think... and that's a good sign considering my state of mind

but you know what they say.... think or thwim...

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2000-08-11 10:59 AM


Awesome poem!  It really gets you thinking (and gets you concentrating ).  Can't wait to read more.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
5 posted 2000-08-11 11:20 AM


Thankyou sudhir..

mike, my brain is so fried I think they just ooze out like grease...

doreen... a little more to the left... yeah.. right there.. ahh....

lake.... don't think too hard... you know what they say... a mind is a terrible thing... so get wasted..

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

6 posted 2000-08-11 11:31 AM


flow + ponderance + substance = greatpoem
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2000-08-11 12:00 PM


I think I've been where you were going now...great read!!
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
8 posted 2000-08-11 12:22 PM


The wanderer returns...

Good to see read you sweetheart  

HUSG


Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
9 posted 2000-08-11 03:18 PM


Thanks MA....

martie.... no matter where ya go... there ya are.. eh?

Cindy!!! HuggsZzZzzz

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 2000-08-11 07:37 PM


Intriguing poem. But then they all are when written by our favorite local rebel (great idea for a name). Nice to see you around again sir.  
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

11 posted 2000-08-11 08:29 PM


I enjoyed the pause. Very much.  And then again.  

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

12 posted 2000-08-21 10:08 AM


wow, this poem takes you to where it is, makes you remember the kisses and the looking forward and to where we are now, to looking back...all I can say on this one is WOW....you do have a talent for this writing stuff  
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
13 posted 2000-08-21 11:01 AM


Thanks all... didn't expect this one to pop back up again..
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2000-08-21 11:23 AM


love to see things pop up again meself (sorry just read JM and Michael G's poetry)
but I did enjoy this one much--a memory ramble for me---I really like your work alot...keep 'em scrolling through me friend...

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
15 posted 2000-08-21 11:30 AM


What a great format and such a delightful poem..full of all kinds of truth and thought provoking plays on words...really enjoyed this read!!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 2000-08-21 02:22 PM


I seem to be constantly looking back these days... which isn't exactly improving my already sadly-lacking grace and poise. *G* This one flowed smoothly, rebellious one... great job!
ladysixstring
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374

17 posted 2000-08-22 05:40 PM


I enjoyed the way the rhythm and phrasing really complimented the message.  Lots of "style" here!!

-jaimie

Website: www.ladysixstring.com

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