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Open Poetry #9
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-08-09 10:39 PM


A Bringing Together
(a rewrite) and because I love sunsets!

Something about the ocean
brings people together.
A parking lot
filled with cars.
The day is closing,
people are leaving
heavy with umbrellas, picnic baskets
and children covered with sand.

One little boy is high footen it
across the black top with bare feet.
He pauses for a minute
on a white parking strip
then hurries off again.

The sun is closing in
on the horizon
touching many people on the pier
with light and shadow.
There are strolling couples,
families, groups of teenagers
and fishermen with buckets,
poles slung over their shoulders.

There is the smell of cotton candy
the music from the Marry-go-round
many laughing voices.

Over the rail
sand become ocean waves
where surfers sit gazing
wishes at rising mounds
passing under them.

A bate shop,
a restaurant,
then the end of the pier.
Fisherman line the railing,
bleachers face the horizon,
a gallery for gazing.

The sun turns the sky gold
the clouds pink,
then to mauve,
lavender and a dusty red.
There is a reverent quiet
amongst these people
of such diversity.

The brown skinned boy
with a bucket of bait
and bare feet sits next to
a lady in a silk dress and high heeled shoes
who sits next to a woman
with a baby blanketed against her breast.

All of them watch
the sun sink in the silver sea
and turn the sky magic
then disappear behind
the immense and rolling ocean.
There is a moments silence,
breathing is a sigh.

This Sunset is an answered prayer
of bringing together.




[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 08-10-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

1 posted 2000-08-09 10:59 PM


"bleachers face the horizon,
a gallery for gazing"

You took me there, Martie. Just lovely.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
2 posted 2000-08-09 11:01 PM


What a beautiful poem... and a beautiful picture painted in my mind.  Wonderful job.  

"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
Eden Phillpotts
*Cassandra Roseen*

Alle'cram
Senior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 1816
Texas
3 posted 2000-08-09 11:53 PM


Martie, Not only did you take me there in this vivid scene but you made me realize, regardless where I am, who I am, we all are watching the same sunset, just different views.  I loved it.   Marcy
Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

4 posted 2000-08-10 12:09 PM


You have brought the beauty of an ocean sunset to the plains of Kansas...
beautifully written Martie.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
5 posted 2000-08-10 12:15 PM


Martie this has got to be Santa Monica Pier!!!!!!  You have penned such wonderful images in this one.  I love the ocean and sunsets too as you probably know by now from some of my poems......You are amazing...I think I have said that before but it tis true m'lady tis true.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-08-10 12:52 PM


Claire--Happy to have taken you there.

Dawn--so glad I painted a picture in your mind.

Marcy-Yes, I think of that often, along with looking at the same moon...kind of a nice feeling, isn't it.

Mike--I'm happy that I did, but I bet the plains of Kansas get some beautiful sunsets too.

Mark--Yes, the Santa Monica Pier...and I think I did see you there once...thanks for your wonderful reply.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
7 posted 2000-08-10 12:59 PM




I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT.....I could see it I tell ya I could see it like I was walking along right beside you......



[This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 08-10-2000).]

Roostr1
New Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3
Flagstaff, Az. USA
8 posted 2000-08-10 01:07 AM


Could almost smell the salt water.  Reminded me of the sunsets I used to watch when i was in California.  Good work!
Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
9 posted 2000-08-10 01:27 AM


This was beautiful, filled with such imagry. You are such a wonderful writer.  
Jenn E

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
10 posted 2000-08-10 04:43 AM


lovely images,
lovely words,
lovely poem...

regards to you Martie,
Sudhir.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2000-08-10 05:50 AM


Martie~
I've been there -
I've seen that -
I thank you for taking me back !

I LOVE this part~

'One little boy is high footen it
across the black top with bare feet.
He pauses for a minute
on a white parking strip
then hurries off again.'

And, oh boy ! Cotton Candy !  YUM !

Top it all off with the sun taking a dip
and it's completely YOU !
Love ya'
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2000-08-10 10:16 AM


Mark--You were....I remember....what a special time it was.

Roostr--It was one of those special California sunsets.

Jenn e--What a very nice thing to say...thank you.

Sudhir--three lovely compliments...thank you!

Marge--No cotton candy for you, you're sweet enough...thanks sis, for all the nice things you say.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023
United Kingdom
13 posted 2000-08-10 10:32 AM


Gee thanks Martie, now I have a craving for a beach and a sunset, only trouble is it's at least a 100 miles away and across London at that...*sigh*

Maybe next week...*g*

HUSG

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