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Open Poetry #9
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Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263


0 posted 2000-08-09 10:15 PM



Onion Skin Sadness



Wear me down by grades...
finely sanded,
nearly smooth,
my trust tainted sallow,
a mantle of onion skin sadness
shimmering soft and brittle.  
Fold into me your fickle fragrance.
Merged with my own,
it's nearly indiscernible,
save for just
the slightest bouquet
of betrayal.




© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2000-08-09 10:24 PM


Meadow,
A beautiful piece of writing.

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

2 posted 2000-08-09 10:26 PM


'Tis indeed beautiful writing Claire.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-08-09 10:29 PM


Ouch! Oh, this is very well done, Claire. Such wonderful wording here........
ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

4 posted 2000-08-09 10:30 PM


Hi Claire ... beautiful, as always ... what a craftsman you are ...
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

5 posted 2000-08-09 10:41 PM


Thanks fellas, you guys are quick.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-08-09 11:04 PM


Claire--Beautifully done...great ending...you are an amazing poet
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
7 posted 2000-08-09 11:12 PM


what a wonderful piece!  I must start reading more of your poetry!


"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
Eden Phillpotts
*Cassandra Roseen*

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2000-08-10 12:32 PM


Superb Claire,
              your way with words always amazes me. . . simply wonderful. . .

---------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
9 posted 2000-08-10 12:48 PM


Great writing! I really love your titles they are so original.....
A friend once said to me, refering to her husband, "Our love used to be as solid as a brick house, but he is taking it apart brick by brick."
This is excellent work you have penned!

Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
10 posted 2000-08-10 12:54 PM


Claire,

So sad and yet so beautiful.  I never fail to admire your use of words.  Excellent!

Michael




Artistic
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107
Colorado/Rochester, NY
11 posted 2000-08-10 01:36 AM


oooh...!  Nicely spun...!  Good job!  

~Artistic~

Jeffrey Carter
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Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
12 posted 2000-08-10 02:52 AM


Yep, I knew before I opened the door to this that it was going to be another great read by you

After all they always are

The best and most beaytiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched...but are felt in the heart (Helen Keller)


Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2000-08-10 06:15 AM


Claire~
So uniquely phrased.
Has the mark of MeadowMuse !

'Fold into me your fickle fragrance.'

*Siiiiiiiiiigh*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
14 posted 2000-08-10 06:19 AM


Ditto Marge....

Claire as Magnificent as Claire

regards,
sudhir

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
15 posted 2000-08-10 08:38 AM


No surprises here, all of your poems are great
Yet every one is a surprise
Excellent writing
Liz

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
16 posted 2000-08-10 09:18 AM


*Applauding loudly and jumping up and down here* Claire, just when I think you can't surprise me anymore, you throw in another gem like this one and increase my utmost respect for your poetic talents. Oh how fitting the title for this  , what a wonderful piece  
Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
17 posted 2000-08-10 09:40 AM


trust is one thing we never really hand out freely a second time ... we keep it guarded
and defend it with ... 'time'

Rex

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

18 posted 2000-08-10 09:42 AM


wow, your words are piercing and beautiful at the same time...love this....
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
19 posted 2000-08-10 09:52 AM


a mantle of onion skin sadness
shimmering soft and brittle.  
Fold into me your fickle fragrance.
Merged with my own,

WOW you are truely amazing as all have said...your words are sharp but sweet.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
20 posted 2000-08-10 09:59 AM


with such simple words you bring not only sight but taste and scent as well
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

21 posted 2000-08-10 10:55 AM


Martie, Dawn Eclipse, Sven, ethome, Michael, Artistic, Jeffrey, Marge, Sudhir, Liz, Ruth, Rex, Corazon, Mark, Paula ~

Thanks to all, in earnest, for reading. Your gracious comments have made a difference in my morning.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

22 posted 2000-08-10 10:57 AM


Claire, I've read this at least five times, and the only reason I didn't comment is because I did not know what to day.  I still don't.  Just know that I think this is remarkable writing...
Steve B
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 140
Southern PA
23 posted 2000-08-10 12:48 PM


Claire~ having read several of your wonderful poems...and enjoyed them all...yet this one I do like so very much...*S* Steve B
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

24 posted 2000-08-10 06:07 PM


serenity, what you said is just right, my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem enough to let me know.  

Steve, thank you so much. I don't believe we've "met" yet, so please allow me to welcome you to Passions. Take care  

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


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