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Open Poetry #9
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2000-08-09 09:52 PM


If You Could Only See What I Feel

See the very thought of you
entering quietly

quietly

like soft whispers
and blue-belled flowers
on a spring morning
in that pink hued sunlit time
just ere the cardinal sings

see the very thought of you…

then the illusion enlarges

and I perceive the very phantom of you
perforating softly

softly

like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop

perceiving the very phantom of you…

then the chimera enlarges

and I embrace the very feel of you
intruding gently

gently

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time
preceding the fish's bite…

and emotions reign
in your
phantasmal embrace

©Karilea Rilling Jungel
9 August, 2000



© Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2000-08-10 12:36 PM


Sunshine,
         this is amazing. . . your command of the words here is incredible. . .

I especially like the last line. . .
       "and emotions reign in your phantasmal embrace"

Simply superb. . .

------------------------------------------------------



That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
2 posted 2000-08-10 04:26 AM


like soft whispers
and blue-belled flowers
on a spring morning
in that pink hued sunlit time
just ere the cardinal sings

like soft undertones
of oceans waves meeting my feet
on a summer morn
in that salmon-colored sky's light time
prior to the seagull's swoop

like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time
preceding the fish's bite…

and emotions reign
in your
phantasmal embrace

~~~

I am slowly
opening
my third eye
~
blinded by the
brightness of
the shine of
a divine ray
from the sun
~
Many regards
sudhir  

Michael G
Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579
Nashville
3 posted 2000-08-10 04:45 AM


I must agree, your word use is very commanding, such passion with them......
I like this so much.......

Michael G
Senior Member
since 2000-06-25
Posts 579
Nashville
4 posted 2000-08-10 04:45 AM


I must agree, your word use is very commanding, such passion with them......
I like this so much.......

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-08-10 06:12 AM


Karilea~
Yeah ..... *sigh*

'quietly

like soft whispers
and blue-belled flowers
on a spring morning'

~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2000-08-10 08:51 AM


Sven, Sudhir, Michael [x2] and Marge...

thank you all for reading...this was a little bit of work, but you've told me I did indeed meet my destiny...

thank you...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
7 posted 2000-08-10 09:14 AM


Whew girl....I must admit, this has to be one of my favorites of yours. Your grasp of the English vocabulary shines as well as your poetic grace in this one  
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-08-10 09:26 AM


WOW karilea, you have done some amazing things here with this one.  Yes, your command is a powerful one indeed, but the format is sheer excellence.  This reads so perfectly aloud and I have done so a few times now.  This one goes in my file and on my wall in a frame.  My favorite of yours for sure.              
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
9 posted 2000-08-10 11:45 AM


and I perceive the very phantom of you
perforating softly

softly

Just beautiful, breathtakingly so

~~soft smiles
Maureen

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
10 posted 2000-08-10 12:13 PM


Karilea....Wow....Such beautiful thoughts, so full of imagery.....Wow....
"like old memories
bringing smells of reminiscence
on a fall morning
in that dawn-tinted sun's rise time
preceding the fish's bite…"

Simply incredible!  Bonnie


[This message has been edited by BSC (edited 08-10-2000).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2000-08-10 08:07 PM


Ruth, Mark, Maureen, Bonnie...

can't keep a secret...Thesaurus works great! Actually, [a little history here] I failed to let everyone know that this poem is 32 years old...and, like all things, required a bit of a poetic face-lift. However, your kind comments have me grinning from poetic ear-to-ear, so thank you all, and I remain, humbly yours,


Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

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