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Open Poetry #9
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This Muse... (Free at last!)
| Open Poetry #9 |
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This Muse... (Free at last!) |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
It took sooooo long to get this on paper, major writer's block. It's nothing amazing, feel free to tear it apart and tell me what you guys think. This Muse... A part of me is missing, Where can I find a spare? For my heart has lost its beauty, My pen forgot its flare. My fingers struggle to create, An atempt at something new. But my mind seems to tangle, And my words fall askew. I'm searching for the words you see, The words of what's inside. But I cannot see my inspiration, I cannot find my pride. Empty words flood the pages, No truth in what I find. No feeling fills the spaces, No thought complets this rhyme. I look at what's before me, It's almost early dawn. But all I find and do see, Are emotions I once lost. What happened to this Muse, The one all poets swear by. For it seems my name she's never heard, It seems I'm not worth her time. What can help me find my way, Back to my writer's heart? For no bluejay have I caught singing, No touch have I felt to make me start. I cannot conquer hearts yet, With the magic of my ink. I just wish this Muse would find me, And let my soul of sweet poetry drink. 8-9-00 [This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:09 AM).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow, this poem has some great lines in it....ones I sit back and think "Boy, I wish I'd thought of that" Since you asked, I made a few suggestions that I think improve the flow to this one, but as always, my suggestions are simply that, only suggestions. This Muse... A part of me is missing, Where can I find a spare? My heart has lost its beauty, My pen forgot its flare. My fingers struggle to create, An attempt at something new. But my mind seems to be tangled, My words they fall askew. I'm searching for the words you see, The words of what's inside. But I cannot see my inspiration, I cannot find my pride. Empty words flood empty pages, There's no truth in what I find. No feeling fills the empty spaces, No thought completes this rhyme. I look at what's before me now, It's almost early dawn. But all I find and all I see, Are emotions all now gone. What happened to the mighty Muse, In whom poets find their rhyme? It seems my name she's never heard, Am I not worth her time? What can help me find my way, Back to my writer's heart? No bluejay have I caught in song, No touch has made me start. I cannot conquer hearts as yet, With the magic of my ink. I only wish to find my Muse, And let my soul of poetry drink What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compaired to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
I love poems that tell a story. So with that said how can I NOT like this one? I love the way you took your current situation and turned into this beautiful composition of art...did you intend on doing so? Whatever it may have been, thankfully you were able to find your inspiration because this was one good poem  |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Salooma, I like the way you penned the sentiment that all writers have felt at one time or another. Very well written, although there were some spelling errors and breakup of scancion. Alicat |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
i can feel that way know, and for a few days or so, i really liked your poem, all the words fed eachother full. kindly, redheart angrybraids Kindly, Redheart Angrybraids |
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