»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #9
»
You Hide
| Open Poetry #9 |
|
You Hide |
|
|
BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida 
|
You hide away in your minds safe place You drink the cup of emptiness For fear of some real blissfulness You hide in pride to show no face To see you now would be digrace Your mind is like an empty shell What truth can it tell? You try and cast your weaving spell Theres no one here to take your place There really isn't a safe place. [This message has been edited by BloomingRose (edited 08-10-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 DebraS. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Blooming Rose...I thought this was a great poem, may I perhaps suggest a few very minor changes in formatting and the addition of a few words? Always, just a suggestion  You hide away in minds safe place You drink the cup of emptiness For fear of some real blissfulness You hide in pride to show no face To see you now would be digrace Your mind is like an empty shell What truth, I ask you, can it tell? You try and cast your weaving spell But theres no one to take your place Theres no one here to take your place There really isn't a safe place < !signature--> What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compaired to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 08-09-2000).] |
||
|
Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I liked this especially - because I could read it two ways - the 'you' being the reader and the 'you' the writer. And it doesn't matter what your intent. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
