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Open Poetry #9
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I'm tired
| Open Poetry #9 |
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I'm tired |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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I'm tired I'm looking for the Eden way I'm tired of the mortal stay. I'm weary of the press of breath I'm sick of the stench of death. I'm deaf from the tolling bell I'm weary of the path to hell. I'm drained of the sighs and groans I'm ill of the dust of bones. Some how some way we lost our path I'm tired of the aftermath. I seek no cup no holy grail Just the key to some avail. I'd shape this key to fit the door Back into the evermore. Where ends the path, where ends the goal Where ends the trek to rest my soul. I would with the help of this key Place the apple back on the tree. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Yo Seymour I like your images in this... Some how some way we lost our path I'm tired of the aftermath. I seek no cup no holy grail Just the key to some avail. I would with the help of this key Place the apple back on the tree. Ther's a book in there somewhere... Great Jon |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Hey ST,...to life, to life,....the pictures came. This is well written and full of tiring thoughts. heehe. Hoping all is well. *Peace. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Well, Seymour, my friend, You seem to have continued in your theme of finding or at least seeking to find Nirvana... seeking the Utopic world by putting back the apple in its place... Well done... regards, sudhir |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Jon, Yes it's called the book of life. Thanks SpitFire, All is well, peace. Sudhir, No Utopia, just peace. Thanks |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Seymour, great piece, great ending. I myself would not want the apple put back, I think we may just one day, get back to eden, but we have to grow up just yet. Until then cheers to you. Parker |
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Auguste 
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Seymour, This is very well written and thought provoking. Michael |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
very fine writing... great message i'm tired, too  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Haleyja, Well everyone to their own, thanks. Auguste, Big thanks for the read and comment. Doreen, Well I didn't say I was alone. thanks and *L* |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow Seymore....this is wonderful, perhaps one of your better works  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hoot, A great compliment comming from you, thanks. *L* |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Seymour, a great write and message you've penned here. And what would we different if we could put that apple back on the tree? |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
hey, sy... great writing... i'm alone, too hehe |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy--It wears me out just thinking about it...but if you could put the apple back, someone would no doubt pick it again...enjoyed the poem alot...thanks. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Eloise, There would be no more why? Doreen, That makes two of us. *L* Martie, That would be their problem. *L* |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
very nice i must say.... i like the thoughts you put in this, makes it all the more interesting. hope to read more while i'm at open! salooma |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
We hope there is more to the afterlife than this. Killer last line. Corinne |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Salooma, Thank you I'll do my best. Corinne, Nice comment, thank you. *L* |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
Great poem here, very interesting content. I love the title by the way. Jenn E |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Would only that we could end our exhausting trek among the ceaseless deceasing and simply rest. Lovely work, Mr. Tabin. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Sy, you sound a little tired  This is very good writing. "Place the apple back on the tree"....now there's a thought, not to mention one hell of a good line! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Jenn E, Thank you for loving the title. Claire, I agree. *L* Balladeer, I'll treasure your approval of the line and the poem. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Sy Place the apple back on the tree - man - now THAT is a great line! All the images it invokes - the affect on civilization, the changes in the our society, the reversion back to a more pure life, the beauty of the Garden in all its wonder, and the thought of all these hottie women in here walking around nekked - woo hoo! *oops* |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ Understanding the seek. *Sharing thoughts from you is a goal I treasure. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
LngJhnAg, Well you got both my points. LOL Marge, You are welcome to them with *L* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sy gator this one just rocks and rolls your gift of rhyme is just so awesome.. and the wisdom and passion that you write with is so impressive.. as is the depth and conception ... and I know it ALL comes from living it..as only a poet could..and you do .. and Im always grateful i get to learn from your words... and i do ... later-my-wise-poet-gator jm |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Some how some way we lost our path I'm tired of the aftermath. I seek no cup no holy grail Just the key to some avail. I'd shape this key to fit the door Back into the evermore. Where ends the path, where ends the goal Where ends the trek to rest my soul. I would with the help of this key Place the apple back on the tree. So are our days of peace forever lost? nicely written and so full of promising thought and now you got me seeking one more darn thing....LOL |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Oh Wow Seymour, this is so full of the weariness I sometimes feel. Like the others, I too think that the last line is outstanding. Wonderful read. Bonnie |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Seymour-I've been doing some soul searching for that same peace, very splendid lines. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Janet, Love your comments, Special gator. Mark, Big thanks for your interesting words. BSC, Thanks for the wonderful. Gemini, Thanks for the splendid. |
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