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Open Poetry #9
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-08-08 11:20 PM


A touch-stone, dropped,
from sweaty palm,
smoothed by years
of worries' balm.

A hermit, haunched,
in hidden cave--
a beating heart
in shallow grave.

From a warm wind,
of western sighs,
she smelled the hint
of her demise.

With magick rings
of destiny,
a casting of
the spoken seed,
and incense herb,
the vulture's beak
and all the toys
that desperate seeks.

Enchantments spoke--
words in the smoke,
the cords untied
of love denied,
a flame of fire--
the dead's desire...

And then she keened,
unholy tone,
oppressed beneath,
weight of love's stone.

She scanned the sky,
in search of signs,
and laughed at witch
who wondered why,
Immortals, how
they ever died,
and human fools,
who chose to cry.

An answer now
came crystal clear,
for down her cheek
rolled one sweet tear.

The beating heart
she begged of him,
to have him near
her once again,
a velvet glove,
the touch of love,
now sanctified
by witch's tears.

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
1 posted 2000-08-08 11:26 PM


Very powerful and filled with sorrow...I love the way this flowed.  Keep up the exellent work!  

*Krista Knutson*

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara DeAngelis

Majestic
Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 264
houston, tx.
2 posted 2000-08-08 11:28 PM


now this is smooth....it flows so beautifully...like smoke on the water so to speak..hehe....i love it......well done indeed....

"To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~



Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
3 posted 2000-08-08 11:32 PM


wow!  that was a great poem.  I liked the story it told.  well done.  



"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
Eden Phillpotts
*Cassandra Roseen*

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

4 posted 2000-08-09 01:03 AM


~Flow it did. Speak?,...Uh Huh!!! Yep it did! Serenity,...this tale you've set before us is mystical and sad and so well told. Aah. Thank ya mam. Be well now. *Peace.

[This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 08-09-2000).]

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-08-09 02:11 AM


Serenity~
Indeed !

LoVeLy !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Artistic
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107
Colorado/Rochester, NY
6 posted 2000-08-09 02:40 AM


Wow... nice poem!  Flowed so beautifully that it revealed a tale as I read! Nice!

~Artistic~

Artistic
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 107
Colorado/Rochester, NY
7 posted 2000-08-09 02:41 AM


Wow... nice poem!  Flowed so beautifully that it revealed a tale as I read! Nice!

~Artistic~

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
8 posted 2000-08-09 05:28 AM


She scanned the sky,
in search of signs,
and laughed at witch
who wondered why,
Immortals, how
they ever died,
and human fools,
who chose to cry.

An answer now
came crystal clear,
for down her cheek
rolled one sweet tear.
....
....

Okay Serene one,
You will be treated to a certain amount of ramble now... skip it if you wish to...  


  • Have you seen a beautiful waterfall flowing from top of a green mountain in an angelic azure beauty?
  • Have you noticed how the streams before the waterfall begin its final fall from great heavenly heights, join together, to add to their individual powers of their motiont and be united, just before the fall?
  • Have you seen the foamy whites created by the same waterfall at the place where it falls amongst nature so happy and fresh?
  • Have you sat on one of the rocks closeby and see the water fall and let thoughts flow from the top of the fall to its bottom?

If you have a yes to all the above then you have realised the essence of serenity, peace and tranquil. The sound of the water lashing at the rocks is heart's music, and the leaves rustling with the wind is the dance of the soul....
--------
now you might wonder what made me come up with all these words here... and how much time it took... etc  

Reasons three: the amazing flow of your poem, your perfect pen-name and Marge's comment "Serenity indeed!"...

and the time it took: about 3 minutes... but three minutes of complete serenity came to my mind with the thoughts of the waterfall that is at about 15 minutes walking distance from my home in faraway India. (and it was my pleasure)...
  
My regards to you,
Sudhir

[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-09-2000).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-08-09 10:57 AM


Wow.  Thanks, to everyone, but most especially Balladeer, who very generously took the time to explain so gently and patiently about "meter" and what makes a poem "flow"---you sir, have proven your point!  LOL.  Thank you.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2000-08-09 11:26 AM


Ive said it before..
I'll say it again ...
your so cool it hurts  
this poem ROCKS me twin...
awesome my girlie girl ...
roll the bones baby...cast a spell...
i do so love seeing you play with poetry
*winkie winkie*
me

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
11 posted 2000-08-09 12:33 PM


Serenity......

              A witch's tears are very
         powerful brew, and so was this
         poem. I thank you from the
         bottom of my witch's heart!!!
          (Halloween is my B-day, so
              don't laugh..or I will
                 shed a tear!!!)


I have but one goal in
life......It is: Not to
have just one goal in
Life!!
~ ~ ~ Sunny ~ ~ ~



Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
12 posted 2000-08-10 12:08 PM


Talk about going with the flow!!! Ya done good, serenity. A real quick study you are! You've turned into a beautiful flower..er, flow-er

Glad I could help....

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

13 posted 2000-08-10 12:11 PM


Wonderful poetry. Enjoyed muchly.
redheart angrybraids
Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410
honolulu, hawaii
14 posted 2000-08-10 07:04 PM


this is one of my favorites, is it a book submission?? huh, huh? i will vote, thank you for this blanket of spelled indurance, all always kindly.

Kindly,
Redheart Angrybraids

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