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Open Poetry #9
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Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming

0 posted 2000-08-08 08:58 AM


We made ourselves a promise
    a while back along the way.
To always be together,
    forever and a day.

But while we were not looking
    something got in the way.
For now it appears as though
    our forever came today.

Blinded by the tears
    of broken shattered dreams.
Picking up the pieces
    we've been here before, it seems.

Sometimes these things happen
    when you no longer feel the same.
No fingers will be pointed,
    no one is to blame.

As we struggle with the truth,
    our feelings now sketched in grey.
We need to fully accept,
    our forever came today.

© Copyright 2000 Eloise - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-08-08 09:09 AM


Awwwww so sad and touching...

Eloise, the way you have put it is excellent...

regards,
sudhir

poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
2 posted 2000-08-08 10:49 AM


this is very sad...but you said it in a way i never could. thank you for giving me words!
very nice!
~Dawn

whatcha doing in this darkness baby
when you know love will set you free?
will you stay in the sea forever
Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2000-08-08 10:55 AM


Eloise...this is an excellent reminder that love doesnt just hang around...you have to work at keeping it alive. You did this so sweetly with no recriminations and no blame...thanks for the reminder

never say never

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
4 posted 2000-08-08 03:56 PM


Eloise...
         I need a reminder sometimes that
        'forever' has a way of sneaking up
         on you and waving goodbye!
           If I remember that, then it's
         easier not to take things for
         granted.
              Thank you for this poem,
                it has inspired me!!!


I have but one goal in
life.........
To make you smile!
~~ Sunny ~~


Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
5 posted 2000-08-09 12:03 PM


Sudhir, thank you kind sir.  
Thanks Dawn and your welcome.  
Paula, thank you for your comments.  If it's worth hanging on to, then it's worth the hard work.
Thank you Sunny.  I'm honored that I inspired you.  

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

6 posted 2000-08-09 12:08 PM


Nicely written poem that gives you pause.

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
7 posted 2000-08-09 12:14 PM


Eloise,
This was so touching. Yes, forever can sneak up on us and their is no one to blame here, that is what I really admire in this poem. Thank you for this.  

Jenn E

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2000-08-09 01:26 AM


Eloise~
What a touching write.

'Sometimes these things happen
    when you no longer feel the same.
No fingers will be pointed,
    no one is to blame.'


Such an important message is this !
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

9 posted 2000-08-09 01:35 AM


I just adore this one 4ever n a day!

=) Coco =)

Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
10 posted 2000-08-09 03:59 PM


Mike, thank you for reading.  
Jenn, Sometimes things just happen and you just have to move on.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.  
Marge, break-ups could be so much easier if there wasn't always the finger pointing.  Thanks.    
Coco, thank you.  I'm so glad that you like this one.    


[This message has been edited by Eloise (edited 08-09-2000).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2000-08-09 04:08 PM


Excellent writing...this touches my heart..James
Eloise
Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096
Wyoming
12 posted 2000-08-09 10:06 PM


Thank you James.  I'm glad you enjoyed it.  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
13 posted 2000-08-09 10:31 PM


Eloise,
Good work, I enjoyed.

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