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Open Poetry #9
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2000-08-06 04:15 PM






Sun O' Merlin


In shadowed depths
dwelled the man
spirit half
then again
mystery's chore
in nevermore
thus
in sunlight
wisdom bright

caused the man
to cry within
"Curses"
and befouled
he my name

took it he did
in vain

and cried he
asunder
soul then
plundered
tears he
rendered
brought none
splendor

In shadowed depths
dwelled the man
spirit half
then again
mystery's chore
in nevermore
thus
in sunlight
sapient bright

and listened
he
as I spoke
spirit half
did not revoke
the careless
tongue
in one so
young

but 'stead I
waved on high
wand of mystery
till he sighed

and aged he
with whisker white
rambled, ambled
through long night
in search of Sun
sagely white

for in the light
man cannot hide
the fool inside

©Karilea Rilling Jungel
6 August 2000



© Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2000-08-06 04:22 PM


Sunshine,
You have written a winner. It's formatted different than what I am use to, but I like it very much. And I like the words that you have written also. And the figure is equisite!

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-08-06 04:26 PM


Excellent Sunshine!  Fantastic right from the title, to the figure, to the ending ... what a wonderful, enchanting read ... I loved this!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-08-06 05:00 PM


Karilea, what an enchanting spell you have cast with this poem, it makes me want to shower you with well deserved praise.

In shadowed depths
dwelled the man
spirit half
then again
mystery's chore
in nevermore
thus
in sunlight
sapient bright

"To the centre of the
city where all roads
meet, waiting for you,To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank,
searching for you," Joy divison

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2000-08-06 05:05 PM


Exploring the depths of enchanting growth...wonderful creation and I stand in awe once more of your limitless talent...
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-08-06 05:09 PM


Karilea~
Exquisitely complete !

'and listened
he
as I spoke
spirit half
did not revoke
the careless
tongue
in one so
young

but 'stead I
waved on high
wand of mystery
till he sighed

and aged he
with whisker white
rambled, ambled
through long night
in search of Sun
sagely white

for in the light
man cannot hide
the fool inside'


There ya' go !
Love you~
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-08-06 11:58 PM


very cool Sun...mystical and magical
you need but a single ray to inspire you well
excellent tale
later-sunbeam-gator
jm

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
7 posted 2000-08-07 04:00 AM


In shadowed depths
dwelled the man
spirit half
then again
mystery's chore
in nevermore
thus
in sunlight
sapient bright

and listened
he
as I spoke
spirit half
did not revoke
the careless
tongue
in one so
young
..
..
for in the light
man cannot hide
the fool inside
-----

Merlin, the magician of renowned fame
In all his mythical glory and power,
Felt useless and wasted trying to tame
The dazzle of the sun's bright rays.

He waved his wand, in mighty mystical motion
Calling upon dark clouds to shade the sun;
The dark clouds melted - force of divine rays
It rained hard - washing away Merlin's prays.

---------

Karilea,
you dunnit again...
What a pleasure it gives me to read and gain from the experience...

regards,
sudhir

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2000-08-07 07:29 AM


Wonderful, fellow K!

for in the light
man cannot hide
the fool inside

indeed indeed...I agree fully...

good writing here!

K

"He looked across the
silky surface of the Severn,
and remembered that it
was a famously difficult
river with fierce tides..."


From J

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2000-08-07 09:42 AM


To have touched
the man in the woman
and the woman in the man
pleases me much

Thank you all for your kind comments...


Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

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