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Open Poetry #9
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Jeffrey Carter
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since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!

0 posted 2000-08-05 10:43 PM


Lonliness walked in
My door today
Looks like forever
It's here to stay
No longer in shadows
Does this panic play
Lonliness walked in
My door today

Tenderness breathed
Your name on a sigh
Making me wonder and
Ask myself why
I ever believed in
The other's lies
Tenderness breathed
Your name on a sigh

Happiness knocked on
My door today
Touching me gently
Then running away
Asking me to follow
Asking me to play
Happiness knocked on
My door today

Forever held me in it's
Arms today
As you looked at me
That passionate way
Making me tremble
Wanting you to stay
Forever held me in it's
Arms today

**************************

Thanks Paula


[This message has been edited by Jeffrey Carter (edited 08-06-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
1 posted 2000-08-05 10:46 PM


Jeffrey (and Paula)...
    
        Let me be the first to say that this
  is a great piece of writing!!!!!
        I love it......it even has a happy
                   ending.......
      Thank you for sharing it with us!


I have but one goal in
life.........
To make you smile!
~~ Sunny ~~


Vaporous One
Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 35

2 posted 2000-08-05 10:50 PM


"Tenderness breathed your name on a sigh" This line made me sigh!  This was a gorgeous poem. Congratulations! I know how tough it can be writing a poem with another person, but your styles were obviously very compatible.  
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
3 posted 2000-08-06 01:34 AM


Jeff...no thanks are needed its such a pleasure to write with you
Kyle Finn
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 36
Linn, MO USA
4 posted 2000-08-06 10:11 AM



hey you guys write well together



[This message has been edited by Kyle Finn (edited 08-06-2000).]

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-08-06 10:36 AM


Paula~ and Jeffrey~
Oh, I like it !
Especially like that 'forever' word !

A remarkable co-write.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-08-06 02:21 PM


remarkably wonderful work... you two make a good team....

Jeffrey and Paula,
My regards to you two...
Sudhir

Jeffrey Carter
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since 2000-04-08
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State of constant confusion!
7 posted 2000-08-07 06:26 PM


Thank you.....once again all the credit goes to Paula for this one
rosepetals25
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since 2000-05-31
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PA
8 posted 2000-08-07 06:44 PM


Jeffrey and Paula,

      What a wonderful poem! You two work well together   I have to agree with Vaporous One..   the lines "Tenderness breathed, Your name on a sigh" are beautiful.

                          rosepetals


Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
9 posted 2000-08-08 12:46 PM


Sunny1...its easy writing happy endings with Jeff

VaporousOne...yes we seem to intertwine well and thanks

Kyle...thank you bud

Marge...Jeff is a remarkable poet and he honors me when he patners my endeavours

Sudhir...thank you friend we appreciate your kind words

rosepetals...Jeff makes beauty easy to see...thank you

Jeffrey...thank you for sharing your talent with me


never say never

Cerenity
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
Escondido-California
10 posted 2000-08-09 11:48 PM


Well Jeffrey and Paula,

This is wonderful, I love the flow here, you to do awesome together.

Love, Cerenity  


"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)


Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
11 posted 2000-08-10 01:53 AM


This flowed so well and I loved the ending. You write well together.  
Jenn E

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
12 posted 2000-08-13 01:25 PM


Cerenity...Jeff makes it so easy to write...his talent is remarkable and its an honor to share with him

Jenn E...we make a team he and I lol...our words just seem to compliment even tho our styles are different...

Thanks both of you

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