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Open Poetry #9
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acidic angel
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 12
winnipeg, canada

0 posted 2000-08-05 07:21 AM


please note this is a song i wrote. maybe i'll get a
media file of it when i get a microphone. think.. garbage style  

i wonder where time has gone
why everything went so damn wrong
but times are different
and people change
but still i wish they were the same

sometimes i want things to stop
just because i'm boiling over my top
it doesn't matter why
it doesn't matter now
do i still know there is no way out

all i wanted was one goodbye
another reason not to cry
i remember how it felt so right
but things have changed
and it seems there is nothing left

disappearing into the light
please tell me that i'm going to be alright

i need you to hold me
i need you to love me
why does that have to be so wrong
the rain still falls
so many endless calls
draining my many means of though
blurring the truth
that is right before my eyes...

stuck with you (inside my head)
tell me it's true (something i dread)
something to do (did you mean what you said)
i'm still stuck with you (I'm stuck with you)
my love is true (it's in my head)



© Copyright 2000 Jasmine - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2000-08-06 04:34 AM


Great song. I liked it. Enjoyed it quite a bit.  

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

acidic angel
Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 12
winnipeg, canada
2 posted 2000-08-06 05:34 AM


yay thanks  ^^
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2000-08-06 05:45 AM


Welcome to Passions....acidic angel...I've been a song lyric writer for many years, I have a friend that writes the music for me and we put it together that way.

These are very good lyrics and they flow very well.

Just one suggestion.....the last part of the song is really excellent...

"stuck with you (insdie my head)"
and so on til the end..

this would make such an excellent chorus to inject after the second verse and it would get the hook in there early and make the title stand out......just my opinion that's all...great work!

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