How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #9 Archive
 Pained Upon   [ Page: 1  2  ]
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Pained Upon (My 500th post I think)

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


0 posted 08-02-2000 02:29 PM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild


Pained Upon

Everyday, if and when, the mornings rise
And I look in that mirror to see hazel eyes,
When green with the envy of a beautiful day
Or gray with the solemness coming my way,
I am pained upon, when they have shaded to blue.
Wondering how much more, of a loss am I due.
Death overtakes me, another one gone.
Aged, yes, still, I hate waking each dawn,
To the news of a loss, of a loved one again
Or the loss of a loving, a wonderful friend.
Dismayed and in darkness, I wish maybe to be
Even contemplating a grave jump for me.
When the morrow or next day brings funeral rites
I may just be the fill-in, just covered in site.
Will be fine with me, now I am tired of life
And of nothing but hurting and hardships and strife.
So when all see me lying there next to her box,
I will be ever greatful, as time ticks it's tocks
Just leave me my misery, leave me alone.
I have lost all I want, all I am, all I've grown.
No more feelings for me, no more loves to acquire.
No more life do I seek, no more passions, desires.
I've been pained upon much, and it won't go away
The tears now have emptied, no more pain words to say .
Tomorrow's the day, if not Friday will be
It's the ending for her, and the ending for me.

M pained
8*2*2k



© Copyright 2000 Maureen - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


1 posted 08-03-2000 03:36 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Your greatest gift is still active and there are things for you to write about so that I, and others, can experience the contact with your beautiful words and your "soft smiles" friendship. Please don't stop writing to the hearts that need the understanding and love.
T McCoy
Member
since 07-24-2000
Posts 187


2 posted 08-03-2000 03:59 AM       View Profile for T McCoy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for T McCoy


i hope i'm not reading too much into this; when i had my "gun in mouth blues" it hit me that once i'd reached that point, where i just didn't give s**t anymore,  i might not have been able to smile much, but i sure found at lot of things in life to laugh at.  i hope you can too.  

take care and remember that you've got a family here, too.  

Tony
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


3 posted 08-03-2000 05:43 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

This piece is oh so WOW but it really did sadden me to read  
Hugs
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


4 posted 08-03-2000 05:45 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

Sorry I'm back
After reading and feeling so sad I forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS on 500th  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 07-06-2000
Posts 5483
Staffordshire, England


5 posted 08-03-2000 06:22 AM       View Profile for Sunnyone   Email Sunnyone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunnyone's Home Page   View IP for Sunnyone


My grandmother once said, after I lost a
dear friend, that it was my duty to go on
and keep the memory of my friend alive.
As long as I did that, my friend lived on.
   Words can never bring them back, but
   your beautiful words are helping others
   in the same situation.....
              Keep writing them.....we all
   want to help you celebrate your 5,000th!!


I have but one goal in
life.........
To make you smile!
~~Sunny~~


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


6 posted 08-03-2000 07:00 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Excellent writing...when pain or loneliness seems to be accumulating we just have to go on and believe that there will come a moment, a day, when it will be our turn for happiness...that thought alone provides me with hope for the future...James
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


7 posted 08-03-2000 10:44 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

there are some days E.  you just wish to wipe out of mind and of your life...and  I can do that in words...like now...another family death another lost relationship...those are what these words are about
M
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


8 posted 08-03-2000 10:59 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

My heart aches with the sorrow that pours from your pen MMoonchild. I've known these feelings myself, and I too find comfort in writing them down. Somehow, with writing ... there is a release that allows you to deal with the pain, and move forward toward a more positive light. Your beautiful talent with words, allows you this gentle option ... take care.

Best wishes and prayers,
/Kit
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 07-23-2000
Posts 3074
of Depression


9 posted 08-03-2000 05:53 PM       View Profile for Professor Gloom   Email Professor Gloom   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Professor Gloom's Home Page   View IP for Professor Gloom

On first read I liked this poem,
But the opening two lines seems a bit hesitant to the flow,

Everyday, if and when, the mornings rise
And I look in that mirror to see hazel eyes,

I rewrote them only to give example of what I mean

Each day whenever finds the morning rise
I look in that mirror seeing hazel eyes,

I think this flows a bit better,
The ,if and when, breaks it too early and then you don't do it again.

After this I was sweep away by the flow,
Perhaps you intended the poem to have that in it,
But, my friend, it is the only detraction.

Gloom
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 07-11-2000
Posts 11011
highways, & byways, for now


10 posted 08-03-2000 06:25 PM       View Profile for Bill Charles   Email Bill Charles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bill Charles

MMoonchild,
Every time that I stop by I find another excellent work by you. I must compliment you on your talent, and may it always be there and grow.
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


11 posted 08-03-2000 11:24 PM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

T McCoy

you didnt read too much into it...sometimes I wish I didnt exist anymore... and that was yesterday..today is a bit better and I never know what tomorrow will bring
thank you for you  kind thoughts
~~softly sighing
Maureen
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


12 posted 08-04-2000 12:08 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

tracie66

thank you for the congratulations and sorry it wasn't a happy poem..I  just had that kind of a day and I write as a diary...so that is what erupted from me
~~soft thanks, tracie
Maureen
Eloise
Senior Member
since 11-27-1999
Posts 1115
Wyoming


13 posted 08-04-2000 12:17 AM       View Profile for Eloise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eloise

We all have our up and down days.  Many times words are written of what we see around us and not necessarily self experiences.  This is very well written and I enjoyed it.  Congratulations on your 500th post.  
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 11-23-1999
Posts 15611
Lansing, MI USA


14 posted 08-04-2000 01:25 AM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

Excellent. . . you have said much here. . .

Well done, and congratulations on your 500th!!

---------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


15 posted 08-04-2000 01:55 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

Sunny1
gosh  I thought it would take forever to reach 500  let alone 5000...
~~soft smiles and thanks
Maureen

sosweet82
Junior Member
since 08-02-2000
Posts 17
Phoenix, AZ


16 posted 08-04-2000 02:24 AM       View Profile for sosweet82   Email sosweet82   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sosweet82

I feel for you, I just lost a bestfriend a few weeks ago. It was so very hard. But it is getting better.I hope you will soon start to feel better. I hope that you writing that helped you to get some of the pain out. It was wrote from the heart and we can all see that. Samantha
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


17 posted 08-04-2000 03:14 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

James and Kit..thank you... yes..I know there is always a tomorrow...sometimes it just doesn't come fast enough
~~soft  smile
Maureen
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


18 posted 08-04-2000 03:27 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

well gloom..when I wrote this I wasn't thinking that the days would rise for me..I was thinking they may be ending for me...it was that bad of a day or so....do you understand now..why it was  written that way..I thank you for your offer of words and kind comments...
~~soft thoughts...and I better get this  one thing written and go to bed or  just stay up again
M
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


19 posted 08-04-2000 08:01 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

OK Bill ...want to be my agent...you always have so much support for me

~~softly hugging you
Maureen
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


20 posted 08-04-2000 09:07 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

Eloise

thank you for your kind responses..yes that day was not a good one..today is a bit better...
~~soft smiles
Maureen
MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


21 posted 08-05-2000 11:21 PM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

Sven..thank you for the congrats..I can't believe it  was that quick for me *s


Samantha
I see you are new here...welcome ...you will love it... btw you joined on my anniversary..*s
thank you for your kind thoughts and words...I am still trying to release pain and disappointment that has built up..and it seems the poetry is my new release
~~softly
Maureen
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 06-21-2000
Posts 7338
In the winds of Cherokee song


22 posted 08-06-2000 01:21 AM       View Profile for Mark Bohannan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark Bohannan

Death and loss of any type is never easy and I hope you find release in your words enough to comfort you.  This was a sad one to say the least but there can always be a celebration of sorts for most of these loses if we only look at the other side for one moment....wonderful piece and congrats on your 500th and let's see you at the 1000 post with a happy one from real life.
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 12-27-1999
Posts 3317


23 posted 08-06-2000 07:25 AM       View Profile for Meadowmuse   Email Meadowmuse   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Meadowmuse's Home Page   View IP for Meadowmuse

Congratulations on your posting milestone ~

I really found myself relating to your well expressed poem, as I have experience so much loss in my life, (my husband when I was a very young newlywed, twins before their birth, four dear friends, my mother, my sister, grandmother, stepfather, uncle)...and there are days when I can only conclude that I have died right along with them, especially recently, after caring for my sister for two years and finally losing her to cancer in December. I find that I must remind myself daily that Life is precious. It holds miraculous moments. It is up to us to allow them to happen. Thank you for sharing this poem here...you've expressed yourself beautifully. Take care,

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 07-13-2000
Posts 1723
PA


24 posted 08-06-2000 09:21 AM       View Profile for MMoonchild   Email MMoonchild   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit MMoonchild's Home Page   View IP for MMoonchild

You know Mark...I had expected to write something wonderful and happy for that 500th..it just  didn't happen that way   ..I should have  posted  one of my  nicer ones from a year ago...anyway I will work on  Happy for the next for sure...
thank you for your thoughtfulness
Maureen

*now remember I am a child of the moon and with that  comes  mood swings that can knock you off your feet...*s
MMoonchild will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #9 >> Pained Upon   [ Page: 1  2  ] Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors